Sunday, March 30, 2008

Retail Carnage

I always have mixed feelings whenever Muffin goes away. I mean, it's nice to sleep in and all that - but I miss my little sidekick. Not only does she make my heart swell with her adorable cuteness - but she keeps me out of trouble. Seriously. Have you ever tried to go shopping for clothes/shoes/home-improvement items/anything except toys with a preschooler? My checkbook starts to quiver when Muffin goes out of town because it knows. It knows that a major hurting is about to be flung upon it.

Take yesterday: I drove all over creation and spent money in a gucci-hippy grocery store because I was bored! Today, I chose to have a two margarita lunch with girl friends and then go shoe shopping. It was retail carnage. Here's a snapshot of my spoils:

What? You want me to model the shoes? Ok! (blush) But only because you asked! I simply request that you excuse the pink carpet. As usual.

These are the adorable summer pumps that I intend to wear with flirty skirts (not yet bought) and cute capris!

These are divine snappy summer sandals with a load of bling. I have a great sundress from last year that these will pair nicely with.

Here are a sweet pair of gray patent peep-toes that I bought for my future life as a corporate business monkey.

And the coup de gras! Chocolate Brown SnakeSkin Pointy Toed Heels!!! EEEEE!!! So sweet! So divine! And I'm sure they will couple well with any suit I buy for my future life.

Of course, at this time I'm still wearing the traditional barf-khaki uniform and requisite black shoes everyday at work - but a girl can dream, right? Soon I'll transition into the civilian world and my shoes will be ready to go to work. Maybe they can find me a job!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Life on the go

I love my car. Thank God - because, damn. I spend enough time in it!! Here's a brief synopsis of the last 24 hours...

Yesterday I drove an hour and a half to meet Muffin's paternal grandmother for the swap. I had hoped that Grandma would be on time (seeing as she is also a mother and presumably remembers how frustrating it is to wait for long periods of time with a preschooler). However, Muffin and I ended up sitting the parking lot for 45 minutes before Grandma showed up. Oh well. At least Muffin was good and stir crazy for her return trip to daddy's house. It's the little things that make me smile.

After returning home I decided to get out my passport file so I could go first thing this morning to the post office and get the ball rolling. I had gotten pictures taken last year and for some reason or another never gone to the post office to do all the paperwork. Anyway, I looked at my pictures and freaked out. Not only was my face all fat and puffy, but my hair was sticking out all over the place and I was pasty white. Ewww! So, I ran out to Rite-Aid and got some more pictures taken. This time, my gray roots are showing, there are dark circles under my eyes and my sunglasses had made little marks on my nose. Hmmm. Maybe I could live with it?

Maybe not. This morning I decided to quickly run to Wal-greens before my WW meeting and get ANOTHER set of pictures taken. I did my hair, make-up and practiced posing in the mirror so I could just jump in front of the camera and fall into place. (um, so did I mention the fact that I'm not vain? Not at all?) Wal-greens took a lot longer than Rite-Aid and I was beginning to think that I would completely miss my WW meeting when they finally called me up to get my pictures. This time they were completely blurry and my neck looked fat. Whatever! I had to go!

I went to WW and stepped on the scale - A FIVE POUND LOSS!! Yippee!! Then I ran back to my car to go to the post office and do the passport thing because I thought they closed at noon. When I get there I notice a sign in the waiting area that says they don't accept credit cards. Naturally, my checkbook is at home. Feeling a tad frustrated I run back the car, zoom home and grab the checkbook.

Did I mention that during all this time I was convinced that they are only open until noon for some reason.

When I got back to the post office the waiting room was full and I notice a little sign that says they are, in fact, open until 2pm. So, all the rushing about was for nothing - but, whatever, I'm here I'm getting this done! During my wait I perused the three sets of passport photos and finally determined that the ones taken last night (with the gray, with the dark circles, with the little marks) are really the least offensive of the bunch. Forty-five minutes later I get to the desk and in about five minutes I'm done. I can expect the passport in four to six weeks. Yay! What next?

I drove over to my storage shed to drop off my box of St. Patrick's and Easter decorations. Then, I drove to the library to drop off some books. I'm on a roll!! What else can I do? It's not even noon yet!! I decided to go to Trader Joes. In Newport News. Which is about an hour away. Why? Because I'd heard about this mythical grocery store where you can get all sorts of interesting things to eat and - oh yeah - cheap wine.

The drive went by quickly and the visit to Trader Joes was quite interesting. They had all sorts of seeds, nuts and organic things as well as an interesting variety of customers. I found some frozen wild salmon for a good price and decided to pick up some hummus as well. In the end I came out with two grocery bags full of stuff so I feel like the visit was justified. Guess what I didn't buy - that's right, wine. I guess I was so dazzled by the granola that I completely forgot.

You know what that means! Yep, another trip - this time to Total Wine. I wandered the aisles a little and decided to go with a couple of bottles of chardonnay that I'd never tried before. Finally, I was able to come home.

At this time the groceries are put away, the wine is chilling, the cats have been taken care of and I've got the afternoon to myself. No more running around for now - just some sitting around with old movies. Ahhh...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Carnival of Labor - Muffin's Debut

Sarcastic Mom is having a Carnival of Labor and I thought it would be fun to participate. Ok, so here goes, try not to be shocked or appalled. Please?

Let me begin by saying that I didn't know I was pregnant until I was almost five months along. Ok, stop rolling your eyes. I know what you're thinking: How can any woman be nearly five months pregnant and have absolutely no idea? Here's how: I didn't gain much weight, I was accustomed to not having my period and the last time I'd participated in the act I was on the pill and he wore a raincoat! Why on earth would I think I was pregnant? You're still doubtful, ok I'll set the scene:

Exhibit A) I had recently graduated from OCS, completed my Supply Corps training and was about to embark on my first deployment. OCS is pretty intense and due to the amount of athletic training we received, I didn't get my period for three months. So, when I checked on board USS Firstship, as the only female, I wasn't surprised when Old Flo didn't make her monthly visit. (Actually, I thought I'd cleverly outwitted her by making random circles on a ship in the Arabian Gulf.)

Exhibit B) Ok, here's a little TMI for you. When I'm in a strange place, I find it difficult to do #2. Take it from me, any US warship should be considered a very strange place. So, when I noticed a little belly going on - I chalked it up to constipation and did more sit-ups.

Exhibit C) When I received orders to USS Firstship I discovered that I was going to be the first and only female on board. Yay. So, since the Navy frowns on fraternization, I thought I'd better get my oats sown on shore before reporting for duty! Enter Muffin's Daddy. Now, I didn't choose this guy because I thought he'd be a great dad - I thought he'd be a great lay. And he was. He also wore protection and I was on the pill so I didn't think there would be any lasting repercussions. Hoo boy.

Well, on a port visit to Bahrain I decided to get a yearly check-up and as part of the process they gave me a pregnancy test - which I passed with Flying Colors!! Needless to say, it came as something of a shock. Two weeks later, I'm back in the USA and going to my first check-up. Now, coincidentally, at the same time I was coming home pregnant, my sister was leaving her husband! So she decided to meet me in Washington State where we could set up a house of sin together. Our parents have never been so proud.

From there, things progressed normally. I'd never had morning sickness and I to be honest I felt perfectly fine with my little bun in the oven. I even worked out every day in a futile attempt to ward off the baby weight. I ended up gaining about 40 pounds but it was so worth it. Can I just interject here and add that I loved my seventh month of pregnancy. I was totally showing and I could eat anything I wanted without anyone looking askance. Do you realize how rare that is for women? I mean, seriously - I always feel like I have to justify every bite of food that enters my mouth. Moving on...

I had been given an estimated delivery date of 12 Jan 2004 so imagine my surprise when my water broke on 15 December 2003! While I was Christmas Shopping no less. Yeah. Fun. Well, I drove myself home and called the doctor who instructed me to go directly to the hospital - do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not even wait for my sister (who works in Seattle, a 45 min ferry ride away) - GO NOW! So, I went! I drove myself to the hospital, alone. And I forgot the camera.

I get to the hospital and, after establishing the fact that I'm pregnant, the water broke, I'm ready to deliver they finally get me to the Maternity Ward. I ended up pacing around the waiting room while they tried to find somewhere to put me. That's where the labor started. At first, I thought - "no big deal, this is do-able" but I quickly changed my mind. I finally got a room and (did I mention that this is touchy-feely WA state?) they asked me if I wanted to bounce on the birthing ball. No. Did I want to get in the birthing bath? No. No, I do not. I want a doctor and I want some drugs and I want them now. I tried to be as nice as possible to the strangers running in and out of there because it wasn't their fault that I was trying to pass something the size of a watermelon. However, when they presented me with the "happy face" scale and asked me how I was feeling I think I might have screamed and cried at the same time. Not my finest moment.

Enter the doctor who immediately sent for the anesthesiologist who immediately administered an epidural. (Let me just say that if Muffin had turned out to be boy I would have named him after that beautiful man with the drugs.) Enter my sister - having finally arrived from Seattle, breathless and sadly, without a camera. Well, she arrived just in time because I was pretty much down to pushing and ready to get it over with.

The doctor asked if I wanted to watch myself give birth and - without waiting for an answer - she wheeled over a full length mirror and placed it smack in front of the action zone. I'm not a vain person, but I do try to avoid looking like a hot mess whenever possible and seeing myself in that position was absolutely horrifying. I immediately requested for it to be removed. (Actually, I think I was huffing and puffing and pleading with my eyes to my sister to make the ugly mirror go away). Then, suddenly, Muffin was here. Four hours after my water broke! Fastest Labor on EARTH! I guess I'm a baby machine.

She was red, and wrinkled and covered with nasty white stuff but I fell in love immediately. They put her on my chest and it was a perfectly wonderful messy heaven. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Then they took her away to clean her up, check her hearing and stuff like that. Meanwhile, I did all the post-labor stuff that nobody likes to think or read about. When they brought her back I nursed her for a little before we both fell asleep.

Did I mention how I forgot the camera and my sister didn't have it with her either? Well, thanks to the staff of Naval Hospital Bremerton we were able to borrow a camera and here's the picture. Aww... So tiny and precious.

If you want to know about Muffin's Daddy, how he found out, what happened next, etc. you'll have to wait for another post - this one's perfect just the way it is.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Getting back on the horse

I've been a card carrying member of Weight Watchers since December of '06. I joined in a last ditch effort to lose the baby weight I had become so comfortable with. My initial goal was just to lose weight, but eventually I decided that I'd like to develop a more healthy lifestyle, not only for me but for Muffin too. I still have these goals but so far the follow-through has been pretty sorry.

By the end of last summer I weighed about as much as I did pre-pregnancy and I loved it. I bought a bikini, I went to the beach and the water park almost every weekend! I had cute clothes and I felt my confidence soar. Sometime at the end of August I decided to take a little break from all the effort of losing weight and well, let's just say that the break extended to last Friday, 21 March 08.

For some reason I lost all motivation during the autumn of '07. This lack of motivation extended through the holiday season and eventually turned into a form of dread. I had two weeks off over the holidays and I completely lost my marbles, weight-management wise. I ate like a crazy person, drank wine almost every evening and did absolutely no exercises what-so-ever. I wore sweat pants and sweat shirts as well as bulky outerwear in an attempt to disguise myself but it didn't curb my habits. I vowed, resolutely, to put an end to the mania at the beginning of '08.

Of course, that didn't happen either. There always seemed to be some excuse or some reason to put off going back on the plan. I think I was subconsciously dreading that first weigh-in that would tell me how much I'd gained since last summer. I tried to make the WW plan fit into my current lifestyle to no avail and that honked me off. I mean, I knew I had bad eating/drinking/exercise habits but didn't want to blame myself for them!

Finally, I had to have a little come-to-Jesus meeting with myself. It wasn't pretty but I finally determined that if I want to recapture that feeling of self confidence I had last summer some changes had to be made. First - I needed to go to WW and get back on that scale. That scale is the scariest thing to a dieter. I dreaded stepping on it and having the results printed off and put in my little book. Know what, it didn't happen!

Nope, I got there and presented my little WW card (because, yes, during all the months that I wasn't going to meetings or following "the plan" I was still paying my monthly membership fees. Call it penance) and they had no record of me!! I got to start fresh!!! Talk about dodging the bullet! So, I'm effectively starting at week one and that's fine by me.

Added bonus - I checked my old weight card and I'm only one pound heavier than I was this time last year. That means my goals are attainable! I can't even express how relieved I am. My bikinis from last summer had better watch out!

Step two is going to involve changing our eating habits. Muffin is going to her daddy's this weekend so I'll have some time to get a plan together. Ultimately, I want to set her up with a good foundation to build on. I want our little family of two to be happy and healthy. We'll get there. Eventually.

Which Dead Lost Character Are You?

Turns out I'm Charlie. I'm not sure I like these quizes that make me out to be a MAN, but hey at least Charlie was kind of cool.

Want to take the quiz? Here's the link!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Cool Water makes for a Hot Bebop

Have you seen this commercial?

Holy Gratuitous Hair Tossing Batman!!

I was out shopping and happened to be passing a display of televisions when this commercial came on. I admit, I stopped and stared. At first I thought they were playing some kind of advertisement for Lost, but it appears that Josh Holloway has loaned his name to Davidoff.

As cheesed out as this commercial is, I still find myself enraptured by the hotness that is Josh Holloway. That scene where he does the butterfly stroke (a swimming form for those of you as dirty minded as I am) I could stare at his shoulders for days. It's interesting to note that the token female strongly resembles Kate from Lost. Except she's wearing a see-through nightie that I'm pretty sure Kate wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Anyway, watch and enjoy. If there were a Mr. Bebeop in my life I'd buy him some Cool Water based on this commercial alone.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Lost 4.8 "Meet Kevin Johnson"

I chose this quote because the phrase "good guys" has been dropped repeatedly throughout this season. Actually, as the intro to Lost reminded me, it was first dropped by Ben at the end of season 2 when he said "We're the good guys, Michael." In this season the freighter folk, Ben and even Bernard have claimed to be the "good guys." Although I believe that it's possible for more than one party to be in the right - I'm pretty sure that we're going to have to decide between Ben and Charles Widmore in the end.

The question of Ben v/s Charles is intriguing. I mean, both sides offer evidence. Both sides have "supposedly" innocent people working for them. However, neither side has a concrete reason for attack. In theory, Ben is simply defending the island, Jacob, the "hostiles" and the Oceanic Survivors from exploitation. In theory, Charles has a personal vendetta against Ben because he allegedly faked the crash of Oceanic 815. When you look at it summed up into those two sentences, I'd have to say that - crazy homicidal maniac that he is - Ben has the stronger argument. (And to think that his character was only going to have a small role in the initial vision of the series. Now Ben is secure in his role to creep the hell out of all of us.)

I have one thing to say about the conversation between Ben and Rousseau, Carl and Alex: Damn if Rousseau doesn't carry around a rifle and backpack like she's gonna bolt at any time. Right?!? I mean, they were just eating dinner in Locke's house! I suppose it's ingrained in her nature after all the time she spent on the island - but my Mama raised me not to bring a gun and a backpack to a dinner party. I'm so sorry to see her and Carl go. However, I'd rather it be them than Sawyer! (Whoops, I let my bias show through there - forgive me.) I must admidt that I wasn't surprised after Carl uttered the infamous words "I've got a bad feeling about this" and Ben said that Alex could be used against him. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if he had her taken out in the future just to keep another force from using her against him. That may seem cold blooded but we're talking about Ben here. Am I right?

Ok, this was an episode about Michael and I've yet to discuss him. Perhaps it's because I feel the same way Sawyer does when it comes to Walt's daddy. "I'm sorry, you mean the same guy that killed two women in cold blood, set this little bastard free and then sold all of us out so he can get off the island - that Michael?" I could really care less about him. When I saw him crash his car I initially thought that this was the funeral Jack attended at the end of last season. Alas, the island didn't let Michael go. How creepy is that! The island won't let you kill yourself?!? For real!?! I know some emo guys on campus that would actually be reassured by that kind of thing...

Seeing Mr. Friendly again was really super. He was a great adversary and it was interesting to see how they illustrated that Kate is not his type after all. Hello, Arturo! (When you decide to bat for the other team, call me!) It was also interesting to see the photo of the graves which supplied the bodies of the fake Oceanic 815.

Here's a question or two: Would the guy who stole the bodies take a picture? Or would the guy trying to expose the grave-digging snap some evidence? I wish I could say that I was inclined to believe in Ben but he's such a creepy VILLAIN! He's a murderer! He's a forward-thinking lunatic!! I wouldn't put it past him to stage the whole thing! It's just that I really have no idea (other than profit) why Charles Widmore would go through the trouble of finding the island. Not that profit isn't a great motivator, but we're talking about grave-robbing, freighter funding, and a huge falsification of evidence in the case of the airplane, black box, bodies, etc! It would be easy to attribute all of these efforts to a severe case of megalomania - but doesn't that describe Ben? So this means that the creators of Lost have us right where they want us I suppose.

Well, I'm flummoxed. I don't know who to believe. At this time I have a very distinct bias against Ben, but who knows - Ben could be the savior of the island. The island that kills people in their second trimester of pregnancy. What on Earth is going on? Ultimately, I'm going to side with the survivors of Oceanic 815 because they are unwitting pawns in a game that has apparently been going on for quite some time. Sadly, we won't see the next episode until April. Thanks to school, I'll have plenty of things to occupy my time. But, will I be satisfied? I think not.

ANTM v/s Survivor

This week both ANTM and Survivor aired on Wednesday evening due to aforementioned programming changes that I was unaware of. Had I been, I'm sure the choice of which reality to show to watch would have been very painful. I suppose I should thank CBS for sparing me such agony. (insert sarcastic tone of voice) However, since I have little to say about either show I'll go ahead and combine the two favorite quotes and rundowns in the same blog.

First off: ANTM (because I actually watched it on Wednesday)

"We thought maybe we'd all be naked. Maybe we'd all be naked
in COATS!"
You have got to miss Marvita if only because of quotes like this one. Yeah, yeah I know - I said she shouldn't be on the show. Whatever. She brought some flavor to the otherwise bland landscape of ANTM. I suppose we'll have to rely on Anna Nicole, I mean Whitney, to amuse us in the future. I had high hopes for Anya but they seem to be reluctant to give her any screen time these days. I wonder if that's to save her story arc for future episodes or if she really has nothing interesting to say. Hmmm, it's a toss-up, really.

Speaking of story arcs, what's going on with Aimee? She takes great pictures, the camera "loves" her, her skin is "luminescent" and what do the judges say? That she is too much of a chameleon. ??? Isn't that what the industry wants? I have a feeling that she will go the way of Renee, Brittany and Jenah. Early front runners usually get humbled and dismissed so that the judges can crown their pet project. Prove me wrong Tyra!! Right now Aimee is the only girl with consistent talent.

Out of the other girls only Claire stands out to me. She's edgy and confident so she could go far and stay true to herself. Whitney looks like she's on the way out, Dominique looks like a man, and Fatima needs to eat a sandwich - for REAL! Looks like next week will bring another cat fight. Whoo Hoo! I'll make pop corn.

And now, Survivor...


You gotta love the wide eyed innocence that Erik embodies. When he saw those cookies after winning reward I swear his eyeballs popped out. (Or maybe his eyeballs popped out because it was the first time he'd ever seen boobies.) I also find the Ozzy-Erik man love thing amusing. Cirie summed it up quite nicely when she said "I think if Ozzy were to propose marriage to Erik right now - done deal." Although I'm a little annoyed with Cirie for getting Yau Man voted off, I have to admit she's pretty funny. When I was looking for a picture of Erik I ran across this one:

Doesn't it look like Erik is about to jump into Ozzy's arms? Awww, man love is sweet.

Moving on... poor Kathy. She just couldn't take it anymore. I know I gave her a hard time for not looking for the idol while she was on Exile Island but I feel bad for her. I guess Survivor is pretty tough. But wait, as a fan, I already knew that. In fact, I would expect that even if you only watch one episode of one season you would be familiar with the rough living conditions. Oh well, I shouldn't be nasty. I know I'm a big fat whiner and if I were on that show they would vote me off just to keep from hearing me whine about everything including the weather. Didn't seem to slow down their team much did it? Thank goodness for James, that man is the reason the Tailies are staying in this game.

(BTW, did you notice Kathy's guns? I hope my arms look that great when I'm in my mid-40's! Heck, I'd like them to look like that now!)

I'm kind of sad to see Tracy go because she was a real fighter. Sure, she was the reason Mikey B. got voted off, but you have to admire her strategy! It would of been awesome to see Oz get blindsided but lets face it, those girls (and Erik) are enthralled by him. You could see Ami chewing her lip and looking indecisive at Tribal Council. She'll just have to wait a little longer to form another girl alliance. Maybe only until next week if the previews are to be believed. Of course, in the preview Parvati didn't actually include Ami in this alliance but she might be able to worm her way in. Heck, she wormed her way in on the Amanda-Ozzy topless shower action! Leave it too Survivor to set up every opportunity for gratuitous flesh flashing. Ah, reality TV. Where would adolescent boys be without you.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Programming note... WTF?!?!?!

I realize that the bulk of my posts concern certain TV shows that I like to watch. However, this does not necessarily mean that I watch TV all the time, at all hours of the day, or at all - if truth be told. Really, I rely on my DVR to record the episodes of Lost as well as the plethora of "reality" TV that I enjoy. I mean, not that I'm trying to justify my addiction or anything, I am endeavoring to foster a relatively "TV FREE" household after all. For the sake of my daughter! (insert Suzanne Somers and a bunch of doe-eyed babes)

Seriously, do you have any idea how much I rely on Netflix? I am not attempting to promote Netflix or any of their competitors, I am simply stating that rental DVDs are my preferred choice of viewing medium. In fact, if you really want to know, you'll find a great deal of English murder mysteries as well as a smattering of Japanese anime on my Netflix queue. What that says about me, I'm not sure. Perhaps I don't even want to know myself... I digress.
In my last post I lamented the fact that I had a golden opportunity to watch two of my favorite shows with someone who follows them as avidly as I do. I was annoyed, to say the least, that Lost had been preempted by a stupid NCAA basketball game. (I mean, who the F*** cares about basketball when we're talking about Sun's baby? Am I right? OK?!?!) This week I experienced a similar disappointment. Alone. Without the comfort of another outraged individual.

I was at work, doing my best to avoid both work and homework since not only had I been out of the office for a week but the new semester had recently dumped a crap-ton of time consuming "learning material" in my lap. (You see why I need to escape, right?) So, I'm perusing one of my favorite sites for popular culture,, when I notice that a recap of Survivor is available. On Thursday. The day that Survivor is supposed to air. I glanced briefly to make sure that I wasn't missing a recap from last week, you know, where Chet sucked ass. Sure enough, it was a completely new recap. Want to know why? BECAUSE SURVIVOR HAD AIRED ON WEDNESDAY DUE TO SOME STUPID NCAA BASKETBALL CRAP!!!!!

I'm not an angry or bitter person (and if you ever say that I am, I will hunt you down. I know where you live) but I would like some sort of "heads up" if this type of thing is going to become a regular phenomenon. Yes, yes... there have been numerous seasons where Survivor has been preempted by something or another. But it's been publicized! Usually at the end of the previous episode! I know! I've re-set my VCR because of stupid NCAA tournaments in the past! But this time I was totally left out of the loop! What happened?!?! Was I having such a good time at Debentropy's house that I failed to register the programming note from CBS? Or did CBS just screw me because they know that I only turn on the boob tube to watch previously recorded shows or movies? Conspiracy? You tell me!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Catch up...

Until yesterday I had been on a week long vacation - most of which was spent in my hometown with friends and family. Unfortunately, that means that I wasn't able to blog after seeing my favorite shows. In fact - I still haven't seen America's Next Top Model from last week! (My DVR is quivering in anticipation, I'm sure.) That doesn't mean that the world can escape my opinion, however. So, without further ado, here are my brief thoughts on Survivor and Lost:

Survivor - Chet you are a useless piece of baggage. If you had decided to man up and stick around for one more immunity challenge you could have had the satisfaction of being part of one of the biggest ousters in the history of Survivor (after the James in China with TWO hidden immunity idols, of course). Sadly, you couldn't make it. However, in your defense, at least you blew the whistle on Ozzy and the idol! Sure, he denied it - but now the truth is out there. Ok, that's all I've got to say about Survivor.

Lost - Damn it Lost! Must you always screw with my head!!! (don't get me wrong - I'm totally into the head screwing thing, I just have to put up a token fight).
Wait. First off let me vent about primetime television programming. I had the rare good fortune of being able to watch two of my favorite TV shows with a fellow fan and best friend. But GUESS WHAT? There's some kind of basketball playoffs going on! Really? WHO CARES! So, I wound up watching Survivor with Debentropy and then both of us took great pleasure in cursing stupid sports fans everywhere. It was fun, but not as much fun as watching Lost. Which I didn't get to see until last night. But, whatever.
Ok, sad as the ending was, am I the only one who was glad Jin wasn't part of the Oceanic Six. Not that I have anything against him (after all, he looks FANTASTIC without his shirt) but how fair would that be? Everyone else makes some big sacrifice or goes crazy while Sun and Jin get to set up a happy house? I was waiting for the other shoe to drop throughout the episode - and it did in the brilliant (if tricky) application of a flash-forward AND a flash-back.

Moving on, I was happy to see Bernard - haven't seen him or Rose in a while. The reveal of Michael on the ship was kind of anti-climatic given all the leaks - but, the non-verbal exchange between him and Sayid was kind of cool. Capt Gault telling Desmond and Sayid that Mr. Widmore was the driving force of the expedition was interesting. Like Sayid said - he was surprisingly forthcoming. Still, we are left to wonder about the verity of his words given the Operative's (Michael?) message.

Overall, a good episode. I was more emotionally involved with the Desmond/Penny episode but it's nice to know that Sun's baby is ok. I guess we'll see what happens with Jin. The tombstone indicated that he died on the date that the plane crashed but I don't know if that means he's alive or if they just listed the date of the plane crash as his date of death. I have to say, the biggest surprise for me was finding out that there is another episode next week! I thought we were about to hit a dry spell or something.

So, I had more to say about Lost than Survivor. Sue me. A final question: Have all of the "Oceanic Six" been unveiled? Or is there one more? How can Aaron be one of the six if he wasn't "technically" on the manifest? Doc Jensen at EW thinks that all of the six are accounted for and that Aaron is an official member. He feels that the media would just label them all "Oceanic Six" and worry about the details later. I feel kind of sad about that. :( What does that tell us about Michael/Kevin and Walt? Are they off the radar now? Presumed dead and secretly working for Ben? I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

How Americans See The World

My Dad sent me this picture and I think it's hilarious! Sure, it's kind of sad too... But hey - the rest of the world already knows we're a bunch of offensive, culture deprived jerks so why not just validate their opinion of us! We're #1!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Favorite Quote from Lost 4:6 The Other Woman

"It's very stressful being an Other, Jack."

Juliet is the queen of deadpan. If you follow the show, then you can cite as many references as I can to affirm this fact. In this particular quote, Juliet had been explaining to Jack that the mystery woman in the rain used to be her therapist, Harper. Harper was apparently married to Goodwin, who was actually Juliet's lover. So, the title of this week's episode could refer to either Juliet as the adulteress or to Harper as the mystery woman. Either one will do for me since I'm not picky when it comes to Lost tidbits.

(Aside - is it me or did Harper look like Rachel Ray? Except way more evil and bitchy. Maybe it was the hair...)

I can't say that Juliet has been a favorite character of mine. I mean, all my favorite characters are men because I love me some shirtless hotties. I'm shallow that way. However, despite the fact that she isn't a shirtless hottie, Juliet is pretty entertaining. Not only is she the queen of deadpan, but she's an Other! Exactly how many episodes have we seen that center on an Other? That one with Ben? Where he goes psycho and murders everyone? That's about it, right? So it's nice to see what life was like in Otherville before the arrival of flight 815.

Turns out life in Otherville was pretty normal - if you discount the fact that they were stuck on a mystical island and ruled by a homicidal maniac. Exactly how homicidal and maniacal Ben will turn out to be has yet to be determined. My guess is that, on a scale of 1 - 10, he'd end up being way off the chart - like around 4,815,162,342 or something like that. That's just a rough estimate.

The scene where Ben took her to see Goodwin's body expresses his insanity perfectly. He showed her the scene, then (after a brief dialog) screamed "YOU ARE MINE!" which was followed calmly by "Take as much time as you need." I had goosebumps. He's a scary scary man and, thanks to Locke, he's on the loose again! Apparently, he persuaded Locke to allow his freedom in exchange for the identity of Ben's operative on the freighter. Once more we are taunted with the identity of Ben's operative on the freighter! Whoever it is, it convinced Locke - but then, Locke is the kind of guy who talks to ghosts and expects the island to tell him what to do. Weirdo.

Now, I know that there are a bunch of rumors floating around that Ben's Operative will be Michael, but do you really want to see Michael back? I don't. I don't give a damn about Michael. You know who I would like to see back? Boone!! (If only to add to the ranks of shirtless hotties!) Plus... Remember how Boone was kind of a little "Locke-in-training?" Which person do you think is more likely to convince Locke to set Ben free? Michael or Boone? Methinks Boone. The island can regenerate people, right? Pie in the sky, I know - but a girl can dream.

So, what's up with Penny's Dad being the ultimate bad guy? That just doesn't ring true for me. I'm not sure why, but my instincts are telling me that this is yet another of Ben's red herrings. Another little slice of light that Locke is hoping will illuminate the mystery of the island. I would feel bad for Locke except he's bringing all of this on his own head. Ben's endgame is too complex and far-reaching for Locke to interpret and overcome. Especially since Ben knows exactly how to push Locke's buttons and Locke doesn't even know where Ben's buttons are located. After this episode, my guess is that Ben's buttons might have something to do with Juliet - but I find it hard to imagine that he has any heartstrings to play upon.

Where does that leave us? Well, next week is the infamous Episode 7 where all the Oceanic Six are revealed. Thus far, only four have been overtly revealed - and I say "overtly" because I wouldn't put it past the writers and producers of Lost to try and pull a fast one on us. Also, Desmond has made contact with Penny which will most likely lead to, at the very least, another rescue ship for the 815 survivors. (Maybe on the down-low. Know what I mean?) Ben is free and able to do his worst - thanks to the ineptness of Locke. And speaking of Locke - he's left Miles with a grenade in his mouth! And Claire wants to see him! What do you think she'll say to Locke's hospitality? I'm guessing it won't be favorable.

My thoughts: At first I was inclined to say Juliet would be one of the Oceanic Six! But.. She wasn't on the manifest so that would never fly. :( I still believe that Sun will be one of the six in deference to her pregnancy. So, Who Is The Final Person?

Obviously not Claire (since Aaron was given over to Kate), probably not Jin (just a hunch), and most likely not Bernard or Rose (haven't seen much of them lately). Sawyer? I just can't see it. Locke? HELLZ NO! That man wants to stay on the island more than any of the other survivors. This is an off-the-wall guess but I'm going to say that one of the members of the Oceanic Six is actually Ben's Operative. I know it sounds "iffy" but the guy on the freighter has to be someone that the 815 Survivors will trust or Locke wouldn't have set Ben free - right? Well, that's just my opinion. (I hope it's Boone!) Drama will unfold next Thursday! See you there!

(edit: My sister would prefer to see Mr. Eko as Ben's Operative on the freighter. I'm down with that! In my mind, the island did away before his time. That voice! That physique! rawr!)

Favorite Quote from Survivor Fans vs Faves Episode 5

Although this quote actually came from Joel, I believe it accurately expresses the sentiment that many felt about Joel himself. I was so happy to see the Incredible Hulk depart the island that I did a little dance. If you think I'm kidding just ask the cats - they were witnesses to my inanity.

Am I wrong or wasn't it a bit early for the tribal swap? Seems to me they let everyone stew for longer in previous seasons. Well, whatever, I was just glad to see it happen. Now I might actually give a damn about both tribes instead of just watching the Favorites and hoping the Fans vote off Joel. Debentropy likes to refer to the Fans as the Tailies (a Lost reference) as they are universally unloved and get very little air time. She's a genius.

This week on Survivor we witnessed Amanda wrestle a shark onto shore and further solidify her place as Ozzy's mate. Even Oz admitted that the whole shark-wrestling thing turned him on. She's pretty, smart, athletic and apparently able to sustain herself in the wild - what's not to love? I wish her, Ozzy and the Ozzlets a bright and happy future.

We also witnessed a new type of challenge that involved timed chasing. Normally, I'm all about the chase - I love the chase! (The catching is a bit tricky - but the chasing is fun!) However, the whole timed-chasing-challenge-strapped-to-a-partner was a recipe for disaster. People get hasty and are unable to properly calculate the distance between themselves, their partner and a tree stump. Right off the bat Jason went head-long into a tree. Parvati and Jonathan also wracked up some casualties but what struck me the most was this conversation between Joel and Chet:

Chet: I hit my head back there.

Joel: I don't care.

Chet: I know.
I mean, for crying out loud, Joel - you are such an ass! A gigantic hulking hairy ass (and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the vision that phrase just conjured up.) I mean, damn - have a little sympathy for your fellow tribe-mate and challenge partner! I predict that this challenge will either be taken off the roster or pushed back for a couple of seasons.

At least the immunity challege was less physical. The whole "knock out a ceramic tile" challenge is hardly new to Survivor - but Jonathan really showed his pitching prowess. I was kind of glad to see Airai get immunity. In hindsight, I believe it must have something to do with subconsciously wanting to see Joel get the boot.

I had to have a little heart-to-heart with myself to discover the reason for my hostility toward Joel. Here's what I came up with: See, there are a lot of similarities between Joel and James - both physical and verbal, but there is a subtle difference in delivery. Whereas James just says whatever is in his head at the moment, Joel is a calculating bully. This is why we see James as refreshingly honest while Joel comes across as an asshole. At least, that's my interpretation.

One final thought - at Tribal Council, when Jeff announced that "now is the time to play the hidden immunity idol" I noticed that Amanda looked at Ozzy and that Amanda's action caused Ami to look at Ozzy too. Now, earlier in the episode it was shown that Ozzy only revealed his HII to Amanda, James and Poverty, I mean Parvati. So, I'm just curious to know if Amanda's action let the cat out of the bag and if so, what does that mean for the other faction of the favorites? Let's hope for some drama!!

Favorite Quote from ANTM 10:3


"Feel my booty. FEEL MY BOOTY!"
(I love this quote because it's exactly what I say - verbatim - when I've had too much to drink)
Oh yes, Tyra is back. For those of you who, like me, were a little concerned that the ferocious beast that is Tyra Banks had somehow been tamed - this episode was a big relief. In fact, I could even go as far as to say that it was like giving a shot of tequila to an alcoholic. (See what I did there?) Essentially, she congratulated herself on discovering the best look for the modelettes and voted off the person who didn't thank her for it. If that's not classic Tyra Banks, I don't know what is.

That being said... It's MAKEOVER time! This cycle, Tyra wanted to "keep it real" and in keeping with that theme she didn't reveal what she was going to do to each modelette until they were strapped to a stylist chair. On the one hand, it's kind of fun to watch surprise makeovers, on the other Tyra is a sadistic asshole isn't she? Some makeovers turned out good (Aimee, Amis and Laura) and some turned out horrible (Anya? What was up with that hair color?!?!). There's usually a shaved head each cycle (Claire) and this time there were plenty of weaves! My personal favorite: Marvita - who's look Tyra designed herself! A horsetail weave! Tyra is pure genius. Just ask her.

Fatima went with the traditional "my weave hurts" sympathy bid. But seriously, after watching Jael from cycle eight get a weave put in only to find it looks like crap and have to take it out again? You get no sympathy from me Stick Girl! Additionally, Ms. Jay had makeover of his own as well as an "after" photo shoot just like the rest of the girls. Honestly, it was the highlight of the entire process.

Moving on, there was a photo shoot with Elle Macpherson!! Where the hell did they get a real model? OH, I forgot - Elle was shilling for her line of underpants - that's why she's on there. For a moment my reality was rocked. (By the way, didn't you love how Elle calls panties "knickers?" That is so cute.) Overall the photo shoot was alright. It certainly made me put down the fork - I mean nothing is less appetizing than watching 20-ish waifs model lingerie. I should save this episode for that reason alone...

So, I had a feeling that something was going to happen to Allison when she kept insisting that her photo-shoot went well. This type of reverse-foreshadowing is typical in reality shows. You can pretty much bank on a person going home after they just insisted that they would be the last one standing. Here's another indication that a person is going home: they have much much more camera time than the rest of the crew. Frankly, after that business with the dolls (Barbies? Seriously?) I was ready to see the back of her. She's bitchy - but there are other more entertaining bitches in the house I'd rather watch. Plus, the make over made her look like Eva Longoria - am I right?

Panel was delicious. Tyra brutalized Katarzyna's name at least three times. Stacy Ann was accused of being Paula's black love child. Lauren was called out for being beautifully awkward (Holla! We awkward girls salute!) Last but not least, Domonique's cellulite was captured on film. I love how Paula referred to cellulite as "juicy bits." She's beginning to grow on me. Who the hell knows what will happen next week - I can only assume that a bitch fight will be occur. Praise Tyra and bring on the bitches, I mean beauty!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Living in a town-home...

Sometimes, living in a town-home can be annoying. You know - when the neighbors are playing music too loud. Or, worse yet, having a domestic dispute. That kind of sucks. Maybe there is a full-fledged knock-down, drag-out fight going on next door! What do you do? Or maybe, your neighbor has a friend who brings over their pit-bull and it breaks into your back yard and utterly destroys everything in its path that isn't made of metal. I'm just saying... (Oveipo you know I love you!!) These things happen. However...

More often than not there are many many great things about having such close neighbors. For instance, you can hang out with your friends over the fence in your back yard when you smell something yummy coming from their grill! Or, you can chill out on your car hood in the front yard with your neighbor and listen to the jet-noise. Good conversation (and sometimes booze) will flow and you grow to know one another - and be grateful! It's almost like having roommates without having to live with them! The best of both worlds.

So. Tonight, I discovered one more benefit to having very close neighbors. The opportunity to overhear a six foot two manly married man (with a bajillion kids!) sing an entire album by Beyonce. Word. For. Word. Let's just say, my respect for him has bloomed into a sort of sisterly concern...

Breeze, I know you're man enough to rock out to some Beyonce - I know this! I'm just glad that it's me listening to you sing the entire "B'day" album and not some stranger. I'm sure that certain conclusions could be drawn - and I don't want to go there! Because, you know what - I luv ya, Breeze. Keep on rocking in the free world!

"Lost" Toys

Aren't these toys AWESOME! Debentropy emailed me the picture with the saying "toys you'd actually want to play with." So right! I particularly love how everyone has this fierce frowny face on - except Hurley. Hurley is wholly incapable of being fierce, so the toy-makers settled on "sad." Which, actually, kind of works for him. Awww. I love you Hurley!

(Aside - Debentropy was all like "what is up with Sawyer and the stupid post-it notes?" and I replied that I thought it might be a book since he's always reading. Right? She's still convinced he was rocking the post-it notes...

Sawyer wistfully fantasizes about post-its...

Monday, March 3, 2008

Favorite Quote from Survivor Fans v/s Faves Episode 4

This quote came from Tracy who is a member of the "old folks" faction of Airai. It was her killer dialog that persuaded Joel The Hulk to team up with the old folks and convince a couple of other team members to vote off Mikey B. I could be wrong, but I seriously believe that the Fans are going to lose on account of Joel. He clearly knows the game but he's making power plays WAY too early! Seriously! You have to win some challenges to ensure your side makes it to the merge with higher numbers than the other side - right? For crying out loud! It's SURVIVOR 101! (Which I should teach, by the way).

(Aside - I have to secretly admit that I admire Tracy and her team of denture-clad weaklings. For Real! She had a good argument and a likely target. As such, Joel was putty in her able hands. But then, he'd be putty in a chimpanzee’s hands given his level of intellect. Oh well.)

So. Aside for Mikey B. getting his arse voted off what else did we glean from this episode? Well, let's see...

Kathy - she's been sent to Exile Island THREE FREAKING TIMES and hasn't found the idol. Or even tried (after the first go around)! Kathy - you silly wench. Get off your ass and look for the damn thing! Except...

Ozzy - found the stinking hidden imunity idol. Yep. Mr. Challenge Hog himself has acquired an immunity idol. Well, I'm sure the bookies in Vegas have a pretty clear winner for this season and that's all I'm going to say about it. Harumph!

Eric - Boy, you continue to amuse me! Not only did you enter this competition vowing to replace Ozzy as the most "survivor" Survivor - but your screen-cap labels you as an "ice cream scooper." Which pretty much qualifies you as... well, I really have no idea. However - that spill you took in the Immunity Challenge? PRICELESS!! You cannot buy that level of entertainment. It was worthy of a spot on "America's Funniest Home Videos." Leap over a log, slip and land on your head. Ok, maybe it's just me but I think you need to work on your "Ozzy Skillz" and oh-by-the-way; your haircut stinks of the 70's and not in a good way.

Ok, highlights of this week's episode include:

Eliza's blatant attempt to join team Cirie/Parvati/James/Amanda/Ozzy. Even funnier - Jonathan following those two girls during their conversation. He is a player's player and unfortunately it's way too obvious.

Eric's spill - It was brief yet awesome. I will retain the image of his humiliation in my mind for as long as necessary to convince me that it's ok for men in the 21st century to have silly hair. (Which could be forever)

Mikey B's take on Airai losing the immunity challenge: "The crew of misfits, which is Airai, lost again. Not even close. Again! Yeah. Yeah, we got some talent." So, so true. And so, so sad that his witty banter has been snuffed. :(

The team name Airai: It's suspiciously phonetically similar to the word "awry" which would aptly describe the strategy of the Fans team, hands down. I wonder if Mark Burnett is trying to tell us something...

Ozzy's attempt to emulate Yau Man: After finding the hidden immunity idol Ozzy tried to fashion a substitute to fake out the unfortunates sent to Exile Island. Sadly, it was only a shaved stick. However, points must be given for having enough brain cells to rub together and come up with idea. Oh wait - he didn't. That was Yau. Who was voted off last time. Damn.

Finally: Jason - Not only did you attempt to salvage an un-salvageable lead in the reward challenge, but also you alone held up your hand and halted Jeff Probst. Jason, when you pre-empted Jiffy P's traditional statement of "it's time for the vote" with your hand gesture and subsequent monologue - I kind of fell in love with you. Never, in the history of Survivor, has a contestant even thought about overriding Jeff's authority - You Broke The Mold. I applaud you. Call me!

Favorite Quote from Lost Episode 4:5 The Constant

This one can either be attributed to Dan or Desmond as they both said it - but since it was a Desmond-centric episode I'm giving him the nod. And, can I just say that I absolutely loved this episode! I think Desmond is pretty foxy and I've always hoped that he and Pen would end up together in the end. That phone conversation on Christmas Eve where they were finishing each other's sentences - Oh My God I was in tears! Quite moving. Yes, quite.

Aside from the fantastically romantic end (*sigh*) there was a lot of cool stuff going on! First off - we got to see the freighter. Not much to look at really - kind of grimy actually. The natives were not all that friendly, but I suppose that's to be expected. Desmond's antics landed him in "sick bay" with someone experiencing similar troubles - the infamous Mr. Minkowski. Poor fellow is strapped to a bed and it seems as though Desmond might end up the same way! HOWEVER, after Sayid and Frank (the pilot) break into sick bay in order to let Desmond talk to Dan (on the island) and after Sayid and Des are stuck in the sick bay with crazy Minkowski - someone opens the door for them! My guess is that the door was opened by Ben's operative on the boat - but I could be wrong. At any rate, their escape and subsequent telephone call to Penny is aided by Minkowski before he ultimately croaks.

So, I guess the affliction that both Desmond and Minkowski suffered from is not exactly uncommon? Nope - turns out anyone could come down with it if you add together exposure to the island, exposure to electro-magnetism and/or exposure to radiation. Getting "unstuck in time" is fatal for most people if you don't have a "constant." Lucky for us, Desmond had Penny and it appears that Desmond will be Dan's constant too. Interesting! Remember the first episode of this season where Dan is sitting in front of a TV watching news coverage of the discovery of 815? In that segment he is crying and when the lady behind him asks "why" he responds that he doesn't know! Is that because he's "unstuck in time" too? I think so. I think Dan's a few cards short of a full deck. Still, you could say that about pretty much all the characters on Lost couldn't you?

Other interesting bits: Desmond in uniform - growl! Desmond doing push-ups in the rain - double growl!! Dan with silly 90's grunge hair - bleh. Dan's seeming complacency towards Eloise's death - infuriating! Juliet telling Dan to explain with little bitty words - hilarious. Finally, the whole "unstuck in time" business in general - HOLY CRAP! Well, I guess that sums up the episode.

Here's something that wasn't in the episode at all:

During this episode my sister and I were discussing the future of Locke - you know, now that he's gone bat-shit crazy. I think Jacob has abandoned him in favor of Hurley. I think that the "hostiles" (as represented by that hunky dark haired dude) are the original inhabitants of the island or maybe even the survivors of the Black Rock. Clearly time works differently on the island and if you recall - before Ben went over to the dark side and murdered the entire Dharma Initiative that hunky dark haired dude was wandering the forest in rags. So, they don't age and apparently they didn't have access to any new clothes before Ben killed everyone. I also think that these hostile natives need someone fresh to communicate with Jacob for some reason. Initially they liked Ben, but as time wore on Ben became a little hard to control. Eventually Ben started calling all the shots and I'm sure that didn't sit well with the natives or even with Jacob. Of course, I could be wrong - I frequently am.

So, along comes Locke. He's super happy to be on the island because it is a place where he can be useful and appreciated. He was kind of a loser on the outside and the island re-affirmed his belief that he was destined for something bigger. (Also the island made him walk again and I'm sure he was extra jazzed about that!) What's-his-name the dark haired native takes it upon himself to offer Locke an option (Sawyer) to kill his dad. This way, Locke can pass Ben's test and the natives will (eventually) gain a more controllable Jacob Liaison. Good theory! However....

Locke has a big head. And, he's got insecurity issues. Combine those two traits and you have a trigger-happy, self-deluded, wack-job with co-dependant tendencies. I could be wrong, but I'm sure that's not what Jacob has in mind for the successor to Ben. Not exactly trading up, right? Lucky for Jacob, there's another option in the form of Hurley. Hurley is already a little loony - remember his invisible friend? - but he's also a gentle soul that is capable of seeing right to the heart of the matter. I believe that he is the liaison Jacob, and maybe the natives, would like to see in office. But, there's still the small matter of Ben so we'll see how this all pans out.

Blah, blah, blah. Lots of words, very little substance. I enjoyed the episode and can't wait for this week's installment!

Saturday, March 1, 2008


"I can't deny the fact that you like me! You like me!"

I feel like I'm back in High School and the most popular girl in class invited me to her birthday party! Yay! Stacie, from Stacies Madness tagged me with this meme and I'm happy to play along. Here are the rules:

Rules: Go back through your archives and post the links to your five favorite blog posts that you’ve written.

Link one must be about family
Link two must be about friends
Link three must be about yourself
Link four must be about something you love
Link five can be about anything you choose

Post your five links and then tag five other people. At least two of the people you tag must be newer acquaintances so that you get to know each other better.

Ok, here's the deal - I don't have many posts, but I'll do my level best to complete this without repeating...

Link One - this one is about food and love. I start off talking about eating (food and family are closely linked in my mind) but then I kind of go off on a rant about the increasingly difficult job facing modern-day parents to ensure that their children are better off than they were. Mmm Hmm - I get deep (and that doesn't happen often)!

Link Two - this one is about my love of Thursday night television and I believe it's the first post where I mention a long-time best friend, Debentropy. We we're roomies in college and we've had a lot of fun together over the years. (She could totally blackmail me for serious cash if she felt like it) We also love a lot of the same things: anime,Survivor,Lost, Clive Owen... A kindred spirit indeed.

Link Three - this one will be EASY!! I always write about myself! I chose the one that documented my first successful organization project - the Shed Of Doom! It takes a lot to get me off my keister so driving all the way over to the storage shed on Super Bowl Sunday was quite a coup. (Ok, I'm not a big football fan so it really wasn't that big of a deal - but I'll always pretend like it was!)

Link Four - Again - so EASY! Sawyer is my TV boyfriend and I think he would be totally pissed if I didn't dedicate this one to him. Of course, I do like it when he's pissed... Mmmm, Angry Sawyer...

Link Five - This one was a little harder. There are so many posts about my sweet Muffin that it was difficult to narrow down the choices. In the end I chose the post that epitomizes Muffin's adorable randomness. One word - MIPPLES!!

So now we come to the part where I tag five people so here goes: Debentropy (I know, you only write movie reviews - but there you have it), Tootsie Farklepants, Loralee's Looney Tunes, and for two relatively new people that I would like to know better in a “non-stalker-ish” kind of way: Moosh in Indy and Melanie at Beanpaste.

Thanks for reading/playing! Enjoy the rest of your weekend.