This one is for my younger sister... From my new favorite site Failbooking!

Oh Lord, please forgive me, but that last one? I'd think about it! ;)

Snow – The Do’s and Don’ts per Calicobebop

With yet ANOTHER big snow storm headed our way, I thought I'd put together my "lessons learned" from the previous storms. Behold!

Upon first hearing of a “winter advisory” DON’T keep reminding your co-workers. They get it and most of them aren’t nearly as delighted as you seem to be.



When the anticipated snow date is a few days away DO ensure that you have properly stocked your liquor cabinet. Screw the milk and bread – vodka is the real necessity.




When you are 24 hours out from a publicized snow event DON’T take the word of the weather commentator that the precipitation is going to be around 20%. They have no flipping clue and it’s better to be over-prepared. Refer to the previous entry.

Once snow fall commences, DON’T take it upon yourself to engage in sightseeing with your out-of-town relatives. Yeah, they may want to go to that special shop and yeah, you might want to show it off but the ensuing 2 ½ hour ride home does NOT make it worth the trip.

During your enforced confinement DO try to make the best of the situation. Six-year-olds get stir crazy – do something fun! Play some cards, bake some cookies, drink the vodka and everything will turn out alright.
The next day, DO take a few minutes (or more!) to take pleasure in the winter wonderland. That pretty white stuff will soon turn black and yucky – enjoy it while you can. Let the kids run off some of that pent-up energy. Take a nice long walk but DO make sure it’s after you’ve shoveled out your car because trust me, you won’t want to do it when you get back.

If you happen to be visiting someone who lives in a complex of some sort DON’T park in a nicely shoveled out space. The person who did all that work is going to hunt you down and cut your heart out be pretty miffed to come home and find that all of their hard work is now benefiting a complete stranger. Not to mention the fact that they will now have to find another space or park IN the snow. If you chose to disregard this warning be prepared for hate and discontent. I'm talking to YOU, Blue Honda!

That's about all I've got - any more suggestions? Muffin and I are well stocked and I'm hoping to have a few left overs from Breakfast Club as well. We've got all sorts of indoor entertainment lined up and I'm kind of excited - it will be our first blizzard on our own! We've always had company before. Stay warm out there!

WTF Thursday - The Lost Fan Edition

I'm a Lost Fan.


Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

My office mate is already wishing for his own demise. Bwahh ha ha hah...

Wordless Wednesday - A Snowy Walk

Taken Saturday at the beginning of the snow. Grandmama and Muffin keeping each other warm.

Breakfast Club

I love my job. I didn’t know that it was possible to actually like coming to work and I feel like I’m getting away with something because I do. This place employs a multitude of characters who are very lively and positive. Very different from my previous life. The only possible downside I can think of is the fact that there is always food. Everyday somebody is bringing something in or setting out the leftovers from a catered conference. I’ve gained at least 20 pounds since I started work here. Loving every damn second of it.

My department is fairly large and when I first came onboard I was told about Breakfast Club. Every Friday a different member of Breakfast Club would bring in a huge breakfast spread for the other members. Membership is not mandatory but let me tell you – if you so much as look at the buffet you had better be prepared to join. Actually, there are so many of us that at this point a body only has to bring breakfast four times a year! Anyway, standards are high. Very high. Waffle bars get set up, people bake quiches in the wee hours of the morning to bring in, people boil down pumpkins for fresh pumpkin muffins, people stay up and make salmon strada the night before! Fresh fruit is always provided as well as a wide selection pastries, yogurt other yummy goodies. It’s an event.

Last Friday, Breakfast Club was somewhat of a letdown. The member who’s turn it was brought in twelve yogurt cups, a box of Hostess Coffee Cakes and three different containers of fruit. Let me tell you – the outrage basically destroyed all productive work for the day. Emails flew about, the member had his car keys pressed into his hand and was pointed in the direction of the parking garage to go forth and bring back a REAL breakfast. He came back with some Challa Bread (?) and organic cream cheese.

More emails flew about and the member was almost expelled from Breakfast Club. There are some pretty big fellows in the Club and they need their dirty carbs and meat products! They don’t care about “organic” and “gourmet” shit! They need substance! The offending member complained that he didn’t buy much because last time there was so much left over. The response was: There would be no leftovers if you brought something GOOD!

All of this was quite good natured and only a little passive aggressive but needless to say, I know have a very clear understanding of what is expected of me when it’s my turn. Which happens to be this Friday. *Gulp* Anyone know a good catering company?

Fuck You Friday - Mean Girls

This one is a two-parter. Both events happened yesterday.

Fuck you little bitch who said you didn’t want to be friends with my daughter. You think you’re so special? I’ve got news for you – you’re NOT! You think you have the power to make or break someone’s day? The next time I come to pick up my little girl and she is in tears from something your fugly ass said I will stomp you into next week. Capiche?

And Fuck You jeep driving C*** (even I can’t bring myself to use this word). Yeah, I heard you beeping behind me at the light but I’m sorry no amount of your angry gestures and frantic horn blowing is going to persuade me to put my car out in the middle of an intersection on the off chance that the cars ahead of me will move up before the light turns red. OK, I admit, I did delay a tad but seriously, you had it coming. Your behavior was uncalled for and if I had been in a better mood maybe I would have tried to comply. Oh who am I kidding! I should have just laid on the brakes and put the damn car in park. I don’t respond to that type of behavior. As a matter of fact, it makes me quite obstinate so next time I see your red Jeep I will behave exactly the same way. Just a little heads up.

What is with mean little girls?!?! My daughter was in tears yesterday afternoon because some little twat told Muffin to go away because she didn’t want to be friends with her. I mean SIX YEAR OLDS! I was aghast. I wish there was some way to shield Muffin from the type of behavior I that experienced all too well but I’m afraid all I can do is comfort her. And maybe teach her a few judo moves or something…

And as for the bitch in the Jeep? Seriously? I’m supposed to drive out in the middle of the intersection? Sure the light was green but there was no room on the other side! The light up ahead was red and nobody was moving? I have a kid in my car and I don’t give a flying fuck how desperate your need is to get through! UGH!

In happier news… My parents are here for the weekend. Muffin has a teacher work days both today and Monday so she’s getting some quality time with Grandmama and Granddaddy. I know all parties are very pleased with the arrangement. I intend to do some retail therapy this weekend. Happy Friday!

WTF Thursday - Arlington Rap for Anonymous

For a special anonymous commenter - she knows what this is all about!



See you at the Starbucks!