Saturday, May 3, 2008

What the Hell happened to Hal Sparks?

I think his publicist must have quit or maybe he started smoking crack. Or both.

I've had a HUGE crush on Hal Sparks since my very first VH1 "I love the 80's" episode. So witty. So insightful. So cute. Dream guy. PLUS! I think he's gay - which puts him in that "unattainable" category of men that I lust after for some reason. But, I digress...

Hal Sparks from "I love the 80's," "I love the 80's part deux," and "I love the 80's 3D" is a sweet, charming, funny (Hawt) guy-next-door that you would totally love to make out with. Observe:

Cute!


Rocking bod!


Sexy lips!

Altogether - a perfect package.

While channel surfing I ran across an advertisement for a new VH1 celebreality show - CelebraCadabra! The title alone is gay beyond words. I was mentally scoffing the concept when who should appear before my eyes? Hal Sparks!! Looking SKANKY! And the little part of my soul that still believed in fairies died.


Oh Hal! What is going on with you? Please do this fan-babe a favor and clean up your act - and I'm not talking about the magic. Cut the hair, lose the "I'm really a metal head" attire and get back to doing what you do best: Providing witty commentary to pop culture.

Oh, and by the way, Hal, if you're not gay? Call me! Kai, thanx.

14 comments:

sayvandalay said...

Oh Hal! What the F dude? I used to like him too. I find that dorky, funny, cute guy type very attractive. He really does not do well with the rocker image. Me no likey.

Mr Lady said...

Um, excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep. That's a tragedy.

Madame Queen said...

Oh, I used to love Hal when he did Talk Soup, though at the time he was a pale replacement for John...uh...uh...what's his name. How soon we forget. But anyhoo, HAL! Clean up your act!

Laura B. said...

Oh that's so sad. I saw a picture of him where he looked more like Gene Simmons than his usually dorky-cute self. So very sad....

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

DUDE, i can't believe i never commented on this... i read it! ugh.

anyhoo... yeah, WTF! why do dudes feel like they need to cut their hair like this? i mean, aside from the cheezy faux-rockstar clothing, IT'S THE HAIR!

have you seen the high school kids these days (jeezus, i sound old having said that) with their mopheads?! they look like the beatles with their hair anymore. no cleancut haircuts. no 'bangs'. just a full moppy head of hair. I HATE IT!

ok i'm done...

Anonymous said...

get over it

Tara said...

I think I might go cry in my room for a few hours. D:
I miss the old, dorky Hal.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha - dunno how I stumbled upon this, but guess what he IS in a metal band. Check out the page for his band:
http://www.myspace.com/zero1band

& FWIW, I think he looks hot under any circumstances.....

Anonymous said...

I don't care what look he takes on. Hal is one of the finest and sexiest men alive. Not much you can do to "destroy your look" when you've just got it like he does. That's my two cents... Oh, and I love you, Hal!

Anonymous said...

I just saw him on Rachel Maddow's great MSNBC show, and he looks pretty hot to me. He always seemed a little styled, even when he was supposed to look completely the opposite, so this is just an extension of the styled side. Well, maybe a little over-styled, but I still wouldn't kick him out of bed, and his legs look bulked up in the jeans he had on. Maybe he's a gym boy, or, God Forbid, on 'roids? Nah, he's probably got a personal trainer.

Anonymous said...

I watched the same MSNBC program last night and thought Gene Simmon's had had plastic surgery! Seriosly Hal! Do something about the hair. I don't car how long you keep it, but put some damn conditioner in it or something! It looks like black straw!

The Artist Chick said...

The last time I checked, Hal had a girlfriend named Stephanie. I just hope that he's not gay. He's so cute, and I loved his little go- tee. *sigh*, So cute. But yeah, he really needs to do something about that hair, when I saw his pic I really thought that it was Gene Simmons, especially with the tongue! Gosh, babe, cut your hair! Other than that, he's gorgeous!

Anonymous said...

Hal has spent this past week as fill-in host on The Stephanie Miller Show, a nationally syndicated progressive talk radio show, while the regular host & co-hosts were on vacation.
Hal is big into serious rock music and has been in bands in the past, hence the "rocked-out" style seen in some of the above photos.
Hal is (unfortunately... *sigh*) straight, not gay. He remains an outspoken advocate for the rights of the gay community and human rights in general.

mrphy42 said...

You guys do realize, he is not Michael from QAF, and you are all saying he should stop being who he is and be a straight version of a fictional character, right?