Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Sassy Pants - How do you remove them?

I'm in dire need of assistance here, fair readers. How do I put the kibosh on sass backs? They seem to have developed overnight - not unlike that ugly mushroom outside my front door. One day I had a perfectly lovely little six-year-old. The next, I have a sassy little drama queen. Ok, to be fair, the drama was always part of the equation - but the sassy was not.

I developed whip-lash neck this weekend after hearing sass after sass after sass. An example:

In response to a snack confirmation request she said "Mom, I totally did not say that," complete with eyeroll and hair toss. What the hell? When did she learn to insert "totally" into a sentence to lend it validity? Also, yes you did, Muffin. You totally DID say that and now, because of your sass, I'm holding you to it as opposed to a snack change. Goldfish it is - it's your own sassy fault that you forgot about the My Little Pony gummy treats.

I know that the recent sass-plosion can not be due to her television choices because I'm pretty sure that Dora would get her ass handed to her if she decided to sass her abuela. Muffin did, however, start summer camp at the YMCA last week - so the change in companions is a reasonable explanation. Who knew that the Alexandria VA children would be so disrespectful! Still, I'm not giving up my HOV privileges on account of her new attitude - we can fix the attitude (I hope), HOV is priceless.

So, aside from scolding and stuff - how do you liberate a little girl from sass? Any advice? I thought about the punishment I would have received if I had even thought about talking back to my parents - but I'm pretty sure that I don't want CPS involved. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next ten years? Say it isn't so!


J said...

Ooooh lawd! Sassing sends me into ORBIT!

I have a son, so my take may be slightly different- but I'm pretty sure all the little's go through that. They're testing the boundary of what they can/cannot say.

When my son started that, I just straight up told him he's not going to disrespect me like that and that he better recheck the way he says things. I found being direct about how the back sass made me feel worked in my favor- immediately as it happened.

If it happened to continue, I sent him to his room until he could come downstairs and talk to me like a young man.


Hope that little bit helps. If not? Liquid soap on a toothbrush works wonders.


hokgardner said...

Welcome to the funhouse. My sister and I would have played in traffic before daring to sass our mom. But somewhere I've gone wrong with my girls. They sass and they get put in time out or have to write lines and they continue to do it. Drives me stark raving mad.

And my oldest girl has mastered the art of audible eye rolls.

calicobebop said...

@ Yoj - I will have to try the direct approach. She does have a tender heart, so maybe that will appeal to her softer side.

@ Hokgardner - Yikes, audible eyerolls? *shudders* Say it isn't so!

knittergran said...

Maybe with time?????

J said...

I would give it a shot- my son also has a tender heart, so when he sees that his actions upset me, it sends him straight. Good luck! Hope to see an update! :)

Elliott said...

I'm a firm believer that hard manual labor works. If you break her spirit now, maybe it will make the teenage years SLIGHTLY more tolerable.

Slightly. Our 21-year-old still cops a 'tude sometimes. It doesn't become any less grating.

May I suggest a five-pound sledge and a pile of rocks?

Or: "Every time you sass me, I'm going to make a note in this book. Each one counts as a time I can embarrass you in front of your friends when you're 14." Then rub your hands together and laugh maniacally.

Eye rolls count double.

J said...

That's it, I'm taking on Elliott's idea.


calicobebop said...

Muahh ha ha ha... Yes, I'm all for embarrassing her into submission. What else am I good for?

Anonymous said...

I got my first "I'm not a baby!" declaration from my 3 year old today. It's all normal, I keep reminding myself vis a vis these "advances". I should be thankful.

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