Dear Asshole In The White Truck,
I'm sorry that you are in such a terrible rush this morning. Really, it must be something quite urgent to cause you to ride my ass rather than take the two extra seconds to go around me. I chose this lane because I need to take an exit in a few miles and I have no intention of budging despite your flicker of high beams and fruitless hand gestures.
You see, I do not take kindly to bullying of any sort. Especially from the kind of person that drives an overly large truck to compensate for his puny little manhood. So, feel free to flip me the bird, flash your lights, whatever - I will continue to slow my speed in response. Yes, I'm that kind of a bitch. The more you irritate me the slower I will go.
I know you were grateful to finally get around me, Heaven knows I was grateful too! I hope we never meet in the highway world again but if we do I trust that you learned enough from this encounter to avoid repeating your mistakes. Next time you see my car in front of you it's in your best interest to go around me, otherwise I will likely come to a complete stop just to piss you off.
The Bitch In The Black Accord