During my commute I got to thinking about our visit to Dr. Therapist yesterday. It's possible that I was "obsessing" but I believe that I was actually "reflecting." (Yes, I'm going to be paranoid about obsessing now.) As I was replaying the conversations in my head, trying to put my finger on at least ONE instance where Dr. Therapist pointed out how incredibly awesome my kid is, I remembered something that I had said in response to a question asking why I stick to my routines: Because when I put my body on auto-pilot, my mind is free to think about other things.
At first, I was kind of impressed with myself for having this little revelation. It's true - I put my body in motion and it knows what to do! In the morning I get up, go downstairs, turn on coffee, feed cats, take shower, etc... Same thing at work: Put on uniform, log on computer, check voice mail, put out fires, etc... When we come home: Put away gym clothes, scoop cat poop, turn on computer, tidy up, etc... And while all of that is going on, my mind is focusing on other tasks that I'm going to need to do at some other point in the future. Yes, at first glance it seems as though I am the most efficient person on the planet!
And yet, I was reminded of a conversation I had with my father recently concerning my mom. My parents are gearing up for another fabulous European vacation (do not get me started, the green monster will rear it's ugly head.) and Dad said that he felt Mom got most of her pleasure from planning the trip, and not actually going on it. He said that she constantly lives in the future and has a hard time enjoying the present. He wished that she could turn off the part of her brain that thinks ahead and just enjoy the now.
Hmmm... That sounds familiar. Perhaps I need to shut off that part of my brain occasionally as well. Not forever of course - my house would never get cleaned! But, maybe it's ok to switch up the routine and actually live in the moment.
Muffin and I need to learn how to loosen up. Any suggestions? I think I might go way out on a limb and take a shower FIRST tomorrow instead of turning on the coffee pot! Whoo Hoo! Living on the edge! Tell me, how do you turn your brain off?