Thursday, February 26, 2009

Explicatives

Ok, I know that I am obliged to curb my natural tendency to "curse out " whatever has annoyed me for the sake of my young child...

HOWEVER...

I'm sure you will all agree that there are times where a stream of creative expletives is immanently satisfying.

Case and point: The downstairs "guest" bath. While I was painting I happened to bump up against the wall I had just finished and utter the phrase:

GOD DAMNED MUTHER FUCKING PIECE OF BITCH SUCKING MONKEY SHIT!

And was immediately appalled.

After all, I do profess to host a safe haven for young children (read: Dude, I totally try not to curse a blue streak with a five-year-old around!!)

Yet, I felt both gratified and satisfied by my outburst. I can only conclude that haphazard bursts of explicative remarks serve to boost the overall appeal of self-assigned tasks.

Right. That being said... Can anyone else come up with a more gratifying phrase than the one I uttered tonight? I'd be glad of some variety. Thanks in advance!

6 comments:

hokgardner said...

Oh believe me, I understand that swearing a blue streak is absolutely essential. And I haven't yet found a good substitute.

Pearl said...

Okay, you asked for it... but let me warn you, the only reason I know this string so well is that I heard my father use it over and over... my brother and I still jokingly use this phrase to this day: goddamn mother fucking cock sucking sonofa bitch.

This doesn't necessarily top yours, but feel free to use it to mix things up a bit ;)

bsouth said...

Oooh, that's a good one. I haven't got anything that's anywhere near as good as that. I think a blue streak is a necessary spleen venting exercise every now and then.

Mary said...

here's my go-to phrase:
goddam sonofabitching bastard to hell in a handbasket....
something about the 'handbasket' part seems to lighten the moment for me :) Try it.
And there's a reason Spongebob calls them 'sentence enhancers'...there is no substitute as satisfying

Stacie said...

hahahaha....
you could fly the bird while you say it...works for me ;)

Candice said...

Why yes, yes I have.

http://candiceandco.blogspot.com/2008/10/how-about-hypothetical-scenario.html

It's foul, but I was pretty pissed.

I also use Pearl's phrase on pretty much a daily basis.