Thursday, December 11, 2008

These Are A Few of My Least Favorite Things...

I'm in a bitchy mood and I blame the hormones. Yep, it's that time of the month, I've a crap-ton of shit to do and I'm stuck here at work. Therefore, I'm compiling a list of things that honk me off (in addition to having crap-tons of stuff to do and being stuck at work).

So, you know what I hate?

Droopy Bra Straps. It seems that no matter what brand/size/type of bra I buy - the shoulder straps always slide off. I hate walking through the hallway and having to do some kind of ninja move in order to slide that sucker back where it's supposed to be. Stupid bra straps.

Hang Nails. Especially the insidious kind that only come out when you're washing your child's hair! Then your nail gets all hung up, the kid screams, it's all bad.

Crappy public bathroom soap and the super dry skin that I get as a result. Washing one's hands is imperative - why can't people provide good soap? At least here at work I can keep a bottle of lotion at my desk. I'd try to keep one in my purse but that has disaster written all over it.

Vomit. Especially on holidays! Especially, especially when it's my little girl who is sick - on a holiday! Also, vomit in public places. EWWW!

Urinalysis. Most of you probably don't have to deal with this but suffice it to say - it's no fun to pee in front of an audience. bleh.

Asshole Drivers - see this post. I still can not believe that Hampton Roads didn't make the top ten worst cities to drive in. I mean really - L.A.? pshaw.

Psycho Baby-Daddy's-New-Wife. Let's call her "Martha" and oh by the way - I named my garden hoe after her. Bitch. I haven't written much about her but only because I'm afraid that the venomous words would melt my computer. And yours. Be grateful.

Ex-boyfriends. Need I say more? They suck. Especially when they've gone off and led happy productive lives. Suffer, dammit!

Ok, I'm running out of steam here. But you know what I love (besides Muffin) Happy Bunny. Yessir, especially on days like today. So what pisses you off?

4 comments:

Sassy Pants said...

People at work that treat me like I'm five years old. Not being able to get pregnant again. My son going backwards in potty training. My boss. Not having vacation left for the holidays. The four exams that are due in two weeks. I guess that's about it for now :)

Tina said...

LMAO!!! Old people that cant drive have really been pissing me off!!

Midwest Mommy said...

That list is great but why an audience for the peeing?

Stuffbymichele said...

I hate winter. And stressing over the holidays. And... well, never mind, the list would be too long. Thanks for making me laugh this morning!