Friday, October 3, 2008

Snap Out Of It!

Do you ever have times where you feel like slapping yourself? I've been wallowing in self pity since fell off the wagon last week and consumed all of the dreaded "ABC's" (Alcohol, Bread and Carbs.) I was seeing some progress in the weight-loss department but as soon as my daughter left town I stopped being a good girl and basically lost my shit. Not that I'm blaming Muffin or anything... I just find it easier to police myself when she's around.

Anyway, feelings of guilt over my week of hedonistic pleasure propelled me into my own pity party. Which led to more irresponsible behavior. Which has led to more feelings of guilt. You see where this is going, right?

So I was sitting at my desk contemplating a trip to the vending machine for something chocolate, or salty, or both when suddenly I'm given a mental smack!

"Hey! Ain't nobody gonna fix your life. You gotta fix it your own damn self!" In my mind, my inner "discipline" voice is Angela Basset and she's pissed.

"Waaahhh, but I'm sad about gaining back every ounce it took three weeks to looooooooooooosssssseeee." My inner "whiny" self is basically me. With bad hair and acne. (Ok, more bad hair and worse acne)

"It's your own damn fault. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back out there!" Ms. Basset scolds.

"But I don't wanna. I want a snack. And I want to miraculously lose 20 + pounds" I respond sulkily.

"Honey, you and I both know that last part ain't happening. Now, you can either sit here and waste time thinking of all the things you shoulda done, or you can move on. I suggest moving on." Ms. Basset responds.

I reluctantly agree, even though it means giving up my idea of a mid-afternoon snack in favor of an afternoon workout. In my mind Angela Basset is the toughest, yet kindest person on the planet. She's my inner life-coach and she's pretty convincing.

Perhaps she should be convincing me to see someone about hearing voices in my head - but I'm grateful that she's sticking strictly to diet and exercise. Thanks Ms. Basset!


Unknown said...

well, if you have hear voices at least they aren't telling you to kill someone. ;)

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

lol. you're a nutcase! but you're totally normal... i hate the endless cycle of BAM! feeling good! and then BAM! self-pity. sucks. but life sucks.

it's after 5pm on Friday... time for some whine. er, wine.

Manager Mom said...

As long as the voices are forces for good...let them speak!