Saturday, September 13, 2008

ANTM - Lots of Hot Air

First up - the new opening sequence: it's all about Tyra. I guess after 10 cycles you can insist that everyone bow down to your fabulousness. There's one shot of her stomping in some bustier thingy and DAMN her boobs are all over the place! Reign them in, Tyra! Reign. Them. In.

Next, the girls discuss the events at panel and admire Marjorie's photo. Awww, sweet awkward Marjorie. Afterwards we move on to a pose lesson with Benny Ninja! He has become an ANTM regular, hasn't he? He asks if anyone in the group is naturally flexible and the girls out Sheena, I guess because she's kind of hootchy. She demonstrates her flexibility by putting her leg behind her head - yep, that's hootchy. The girls are instructed to pose inside stretchy fabric tubes and it became apparent that ,as far as posing is concerned, they are rank amateurs. Well, it's only the second episode. I suppose they'll learn.

Arriving back at the house they receive some TYRA MAIL! It says something like "if you learned your lesson this should be in the bag." Lauren Brie, showing amazing insight, guesses that the next challenge may involve posing. You think?

On to the hot tub! There's Elina kissing Clark - her dream come true! Then, Hannah is pushing Isis away from her. Ruh-row! I smell a controversy coming on! Sheena and Brittany corner Hannah and she says something along the lines of needing personal space and being the whitest white girl she knows.

Now, this house is full of very young women. One can only imagine that they have been waiting for something to focus their need for drama. Sheena and Brittany relay Hannah's comments (with some embellishments) to the other ladies of color in the house and everyone decides that Hannah's comments are very concerning.

After Analeigh helps Isis with her transition injections (surely an ANTM first!) the girls head out their challenge where they are instructed to fiercely pose with some handbags and accessories. The results are pretty comical and culminate with Sheena posing with her leg behind her head and the purse in front of her hoo-ha. Needless to say, the designer was not pleased. Elina wins and they head back to the house.

Further discussion of Hannah's alleged racist remarks ensue. Some of the ladies feel the need to confront Hannah and ask her if she's a racist. Which, first of all, I'm not even sure a person would ever ADMIT to being a racist - so why ask? But Hannah says no and thanks them for their attack upon her before running back to her room to cry.

And here's Whitney!! Good Lord, what are they trying to sell with these commercials? Cheese?

Moving on, Hannah discusses the unfairness her plight before the girls get to their photo shoot. It's a Hot Air Balloon!! The girls are expected to pose on a rope ladder hanging from the balloon! The girls are a little wary - but not to worry! The wind is too fierce to keep the balloon steady in the air, so the girls are going to pose on a rope ladder hanging from a fork lift and then the balloon will be digitally added to the photo later. Ain't technology wonderful?

Basically Lauren Brie, Joslyn, Marjorie and Elina rocked the shoot. Isis, Nikeysha, Clark and Samantha had some trouble. Sheena is accused of hootchy-ness again. Mostly because she held on to the ladder with her butt cheeks. Well, yeah, that will do it!

Panel time! Ms. Jay is wearing necklaces to indicate the number of models left in the competition. Hey, it's better than the ruffles and Afros from seasons past! Paulina looks like a fem-bot and the girls get critiqued. Nikeysha is called out for being too skinny. Holla! However, overall the judges are very complimentary. Where is the scathing critique from seasons past? Make them cry, Tyra! Make them CRY!!!

Not surprisingly Lauren Brie is called first. The judges thought she was Fierce, but I thought Elina was better. It comes down to Nikeysha and Isis - who will go home? The girl that can't shut her mouth or the girl who took a good picture last week? Looks like Isis will be given another chance! Bye, bye Nikeysha!

Next week, MAKEOVERS!!! And a first in Top Model History - I wonder what? Stay tuned!

1 comment:


That's why I can't even watch that shit. Women. Can't stand them. Can't even stand myself sometimes. ;)