Tuesday, July 14, 2009

For Those Of You Who Think I'm Brave

I'm SOOOOO not brave at all.

Nope, not one little bit. I mean, I do what I have to do when it's required of me but on the whole I'm a pussy. Yep. A big fat pussy.

So, I was amused and surprised that several people thought I'd actually taken that picture of the Terrible Monster (aka centipede) I blogged about last week. FOR REAL?!?! There is no way on God's Green Earth I would have had the presence of mind, much less the balls to get my camera and get close to this creature.



Hellz no. I googled that image. And I'm 'fessing up.

Here's how that scenario went down: I saw The Creature. I froze. I kept a steady eye on it while I slowly lifted my feet up into the couch. And I watched it make it's way across the floor and into the fireplace. Then, I sat. Frozen. For about twenty minutes afterwards.

Once I had determined an escape route acceptable amount of time had elapsed - I fled. That's right. I ran up the stairs. I didn't go for the bug spray or any sort of heavy object to smush the thing. I ran away.

I'm like Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin in Monty Python's Holy Grail.

I bravely turned my tail and fled.

But thanks for all of your kind thoughts and wishes. If I were braver, maybe I would have done something more worthy of your praise. As it was - I was pretty much a detriment to my sex. Yeah, I'm that girl. The one who needs someone with testicles to smash the bug. Sorry Muffin! Guess we'll just have to hope the nasty creatures don't like us! 'Cause Mommy isn't going to be much help - unless baseball bats and bug spray can do the job. And since we don't have either at the moment, I guess we're just living on a prayer.

9 comments:

Stacie's Madness said...

muahhaha. I am sure you are much braver in other ways. ;)

hokgardner said...

I'd have done the same thing.

knittergran said...

Here is my method for emergency bug situations (i.e. when no one braver is there to take over). I put something like a jar or bucket upside down over the creature and then, to make sure it doesn't get away, I put something heavy on top of that to keep it from somehow getting out. DH laughs at me because he says these creatures can't lift up the bucket or whatever, but I KNOW they have ways of getting under the rim and out to terrorize me again.

Courtney said...

I had one of those little fuckers in my office the other day and there was no way I was going to get it... It started running across the floor and Myles ate it....

Note to self - don't let the dog lick you in the face ever again.

Samsmama said...

I'm happy to report that I am NOT one of the people that thought you took a picture. First off, it was way too close up. And second, I feel like I know you better than that. :) You're an enormous baby and I know it. OXOX

Midwest Mommy said...

Ugh I got the creeps just looking at it I couldn't imagine being in the same room with it!

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

I HATE centipedes. I am terrified of them = cannot kill them. It has to be the hubs job. I wrote a blog recently about how terrified I am of them. I can feel your pain!

travellinbaen said...

I kill those bastards so dead there's barely anything left to clean up. My overkill has absolutely nothing to do with any possible fear that I won't do the job adequately with the first sledgehammer blow and the offending beast will somehow maintain its hold on life long enough to mount a last ditch attack against me.

BTW, I've always thought it was pretty brave of a girl to use the word "Pussy", but then I live in a pretty repressive corner of the universe too.

bsouth said...

I love that clip - well done!

I think you did exactly the right thing. Some of those bugs bite, you were just making sure Muffin's mummy was safe - totally sensible.