Sunday, August 3, 2008

Down By The Bay...

(to the Raffi tune of "Down by the bay" - go on, DENY that you know this tune!)

Down by the bay
Where the Chesapeake Stinks
My daughter whined
Drove me to drink

Her little mouth
It never stopped
If I ever had a pill
It'd have been popped!

Down by the bay...

See, in my mind, we are going to have a fantastic outdoor event! In reality, she whines her little pants off. Thus making it an exercise called "the struggle for humane parenting."

Granted, this time there was a just cause for all the whining. I decided to go to Fort Story on the Chesapeake bay instead of our usual Virginia Beach run. I thought that the bay water would be more calming than the beach waves. Nope.

It stank. Oh dear GAWD did it stink. Muffin whined for the entire hour and a half we were there and it was mostly about the stink. My personal favorite was:

"Mama, my feelings are hurt by the stinkiness!"

Well baby, I guess I couldn't have said it better myself. My feelings were hurt all around. I tried to read my book but was constantly distracted by sea gulls, other people, my daughter's chatter and SHARKS! OH YES, there were freaking sharks thrashing around in the bay. This is one time that I was very grateful Muffin is naturally shy of the ocean. Those suckers were all over the place and I was eager to stay out of their way.

In preparation for a nice afternoon outing I took out all of the sand toys. I thought "Hey, if she has lots of things to occupy her perhaps some reading will be had!" Nope. More toys on the beach meant more shit to freak over as far as Muffin was concerned. From the time we arrived there was a constant monologue of worry and anxiety from the Muffin Dept. Things were too sandy, too wet, not sandy enough, not wet enough, too close to crabs, too far away from crabs, and altogether too close to the stinkiness...

Needless to say, little of my book was read. However, the constant distraction did allow me several photo opportunities. Observe, my daughter's new Ninja Name "Iron Biscuits" because her firm little bottom is not unlike two iron biscuits. (Go ahead, color me crazy - I'll just chalk it up to sun exposure).

Muffin a.k.a. Iron Biscuits

Cutest "babe"ing suit and cover-up EVAH! Thank you Disney Store Sale Rack!!


Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

LMAO @ iron biscuits! and babe-ing suit... too freaking CUTE!

ugh, i'm sorry it was such a pain in the ass. girls are tougher at this age (so i've heard) even though my 'darling' almost 5yr old can be a pain in my ass too. they just get in those whiney moods where you just want to give up. send them off with the nice family over by the part of the bay that doesn't stink, isn't surrounded by crabs and isn't too sandy...


Yeah, that pic is for baby centerfold. She is adorable. About the beach, oh boy do I remember that age. Shit- sunscreen in the eye. Sand and salt in the eyes. Sand everywhere! They hated it, and I read in the bedroom only.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

A stinky beach definitely takes the fun out of things.

Unknown said...

boo for the stinkiness...
she is a cutie though~