I'm packing up Muffin's suitcase for a week at her Dad's. She's protested going all week and while it's hard to bear (for both of us) it's something she has to do. Ultimately I'm hopeful that this type of lesson will benefit her in the long run. Somehow make her more adaptable or at least accepting of change. I hope and I hope and I hope. I think mothers thrive on hope.
While one part of my brain is crying, another part of my brain is waking up. It's the part that still thinks I'm a 24 year old party animal. Stacie posted earlier this week about the different roles that people play and I suppose this is one of mine. Sadly, this diva should have hung up that part a long time ago. When will I learn!
I remember talking to my older and wiser brother about masks and the different persona that people affect depending on their company. He said that he was grateful to have finally turned 40 so that he wouldn't have to wear masks anymore. He said that eventually most people reach a point in their life when all the masks blend together and what you are left with is yourself. With no mask at all.
A scary yet liberating thought. Maybe when I get over trying to "be" something else I'll find that it's ok to "be" me. Or, maybe I'll go on pretending I'm a rock-star! Sounds like fun right now.
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3 comments:
I think I'm to the No-Mask stage. But for the record, I'm not 40. Yet. I rather like who I am now though.
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we moms do thrive on hope. it's all we have with all the goddamn worry!
i hate the masks... i don't like someone if they act one way in public and then i find out they act another in private. f that s.
i'm 33 on 9/7 and have started taking more of my masks off. i hate them. just be yourself and f everyone else. but this is me you're talking to... or, you i'm talking to... you know what i mean!
:D
ha, sometimes I forget I am not that young, energetic 21 year old...cause I just can't handle it like I use to, but it doesn't stop me ... will I ever learn?
I love your brothers thought on the masks fusing into one mask that becomes you. I think that mine are starting to fuse and awareness is the biggest reason they ARE starting to blend in...AND, I am really finding that I like me as myself...neurotic or not. ;)
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