New Year's Eve Words and Pics

Because I can't get away with a Wordless Wednesday to Save. My. Life. So, here is a before and after shot of my family's Christmas Dinner Gathering. We have my parents, my siblings (all of them) my Aunt and Uncle as well as my Grandpa. Grandpa is my only surviving Grandparent. He is 91, a WWII Vet, an avid gardener and more spry than any teenager you could name. Go Grandpa!!

OK, this is the formal picture:

And this is what we're really like:

Yes, goofballs all around but we love each other and had a wonderful evening despite the fact that my sweet (and only grandchild) daughter was not available. More to come on that front, so stay tuned!

I wish you all a safe and happy New Year! I will most likely take pictures but don't count on seeing them. I may need to keep the incriminating evidence close to my chest. So to speak.

*wink!*

Merry Christmas!

Hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!

Pre-Christmas Stress Fest

This week I have gotten a tattoo, baked my ASS off and managed to slip in a visit to the Virginia Symphony in between bouts of housecleaning, shopping and -oh yeah - work.

The tattoo is doing fine, a little itchy but fine. I may ask my sister to take a picture of it over the holidays so I can post it - but I am reserving the right to delete ANY photo that suggests a hint of back-fat. In other words, don't get your hopes up.

The baking/cleaning/wrapping frenzy has continued all week because I'm leaving work this afternoon to visit a friend in her new home before going to my parents house. I won't be back home until after the New Year and let me tell you, planning for two weeks of "fun" is no fun at all. I have to get all of the Christmas gear, clothes and stuff for me as well as clothes and stuff for Muffin (who I am getting back the day after Christmas) all together and if I forget anything I will have to drive 2 1/2 hours back home to get it. STRESS!!

Thank God for the baking because nothing takes the edge off of stress like some Christmas cookies! (Well, except maybe for Vodka - but the last time me & Vodka hooked up I wound up with a tattoo) I tried out a new recipe for Double Chocolate French Sable Cookies this year. It looked pretty straightforward, if a little more ambitious than my usual Christmas fare. At one point in the recipe I was supposed to divide the recipe in half and roll it into logs.

As I was doing so I noticed that my log of chocolate sable cookies looked remarkably like a turd. What do you think?

Yeah. Turd cookies. Well, they taste good anyway. Hope everyone has a happy stress-free holiday season! I don't know what kind of blogging I'll get done over the next two weeks but I'll be sure to comment on everyone else's posts! Merry Christmas!!

Wordy (kinda) Wednesday

Ok, so here's the short version - my daugther went off to spend the holidays with her father, I went on a bender and subsequently got a tattoo. And you think I'm kidding...

Sadly, the tattoo is on my back left shoulder and I really have no idea how to take a picture of it without showing too much flesh so until I figure that out you'll have to remain in suspense.

Meanwhile, here are some photos from Muffin's impromptu early birthday party on Friday afternoon. Kids can be such hams...

Happy Birthday Sweet Muffin, I miss you so much and love you dearly. I can't wait to see you again! Hope you're having a wonderful time! See you soon, Sweetheart.

xxoo

Mama

Friday Morning Randomness

While I was fixing my hair this morning my nose began to bleed. I have NO IDEA why - I swear I'm not doing drugs!

As a matter of fact, to answer Midwest Mommy's question from yesterday, that's why I have to pee in front of somebody for urinalysis - to ensure that my drug-free pee is my own. Because the military has a zero tolerance policy on drugs and you would be surprised how creative people can be when they are about to get busted. Though in my case I wish they would just take my word for it because I have a shy bladder and it takes FOREVER! I digress...

Anyways, I was a little alarmed at the tide of blood gushing out of my nose so I put a tissue up in there and commenced with the hair dressing. Then I came downstairs to put on my shoes and get the Muffin ready to leave the house.

When Muffin spied my interesting nose attire she asked "Mama, why do you have tissue sticking out of your nose?"

I sat down in a dining room chair to put on my shoes and told her that my nose was bleeding.

Then Muffin knelt in front of me, put her hands on my knees, looked up into my face and said - I shit you not - "That is a very sad existence."

Not sure where she picked up that phrase or even the concept of a "sad existence," but I suppose I should be glad her vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. I'm also glad that the nose bleed stopped before I had to go anywhere in public. Sad existence indeed...

These Are A Few of My Least Favorite Things...

I'm in a bitchy mood and I blame the hormones. Yep, it's that time of the month, I've a crap-ton of shit to do and I'm stuck here at work. Therefore, I'm compiling a list of things that honk me off (in addition to having crap-tons of stuff to do and being stuck at work).

So, you know what I hate?

Droopy Bra Straps. It seems that no matter what brand/size/type of bra I buy - the shoulder straps always slide off. I hate walking through the hallway and having to do some kind of ninja move in order to slide that sucker back where it's supposed to be. Stupid bra straps.

Hang Nails. Especially the insidious kind that only come out when you're washing your child's hair! Then your nail gets all hung up, the kid screams, it's all bad.

Crappy public bathroom soap and the super dry skin that I get as a result. Washing one's hands is imperative - why can't people provide good soap? At least here at work I can keep a bottle of lotion at my desk. I'd try to keep one in my purse but that has disaster written all over it.

Vomit. Especially on holidays! Especially, especially when it's my little girl who is sick - on a holiday! Also, vomit in public places. EWWW!

Urinalysis. Most of you probably don't have to deal with this but suffice it to say - it's no fun to pee in front of an audience. bleh.

Asshole Drivers - see this post. I still can not believe that Hampton Roads didn't make the top ten worst cities to drive in. I mean really - L.A.? pshaw.

Psycho Baby-Daddy's-New-Wife. Let's call her "Martha" and oh by the way - I named my garden hoe after her. Bitch. I haven't written much about her but only because I'm afraid that the venomous words would melt my computer. And yours. Be grateful.

Ex-boyfriends. Need I say more? They suck. Especially when they've gone off and led happy productive lives. Suffer, dammit!

Ok, I'm running out of steam here. But you know what I love (besides Muffin) Happy Bunny. Yessir, especially on days like today. So what pisses you off?

(Not Quite) Wordless Wednesday

I may as well give up the phrase "Wordless Wednesday." I always seem to have something to say...

I was taking a quick break from housecleaning on Sunday when my kitty Zephyr decided to plant herself on my lap. I figured I'd torture her a little by dressing her in my cleaning headband.

Here she is saying "Bitch, please. I make this look good."

Moments later, here she is busy searching for her dignity.

Poor kitty, the things I put her through. Don't worry, I took the hair tie off as soon as I was done chasing her all over the house for that "perfect" picture. Never got the picture, but cats are wily that way.

Crafty Tuesdy - Christmas Rag

Yeah, so I'm still working on the scarf. It's going quickly - but not as quickly as the other projects I've worked on in the past. This week I'm posting a picture of the lovely Christmas Dishrag that I made along with the finished bookmark. I think the little kitty bead looks cute.

Also, if anyone can tell me how to make my dishrags "colorfast" that would be very helpful. My mom suggested soaking them in vinegar to make the color set - but I haven't quite gotten the courage to try. Any suggestions? Happy Tuesday!

Nutcracker Weekend

We had a glorious weekend. I know, "glorious" may sound a bit excessive - but it's true!! We had such a wonderful time.

We saw the Richmond Ballet's Nutcracker performance and it was - in a word - FANTASTIC!

The costumes were impeccable. The music was perfect. The dancers were absolutely marvelous.

On top of it all, my Muffin was a gem. She sat in wonder and enjoyed every act. I bought a ballerina ornament to commemorate the occasion and I hope we are able to see it every year.

What brought added joy to the outing was the fact that my friend, Ms. Lynn, was able to join us! She is not only a former ballerina - but a former roommate of mine on USS Warship as well as a new mother of an eight month old baby boy. I was so pleased that she could take the time to enjoy the show with us. She has danced many Nutcrackers and proclaimed this performance to be without peer.

We had such a wonderful time. I hope that it becomes an annual event. A weekend of Christmas shopping combined with a Nutcracker matinee sounds like the epitome of Holiday Cheer. Here's hoping for many, many more!

**note: all nutcracker images come from Google images, not the actual Richmond Ballet's Performance**

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Yesterday was indeed a big day. Muffin behaved beautifully in the morning while I worked but got really bored, really fast at the Holiday Party. At least in my office she could watch Strawberry Shortcake and color - at the party she had to be content with a toy from Santa. And that didn't last very long.

After a few hours of incessant whining the party wrapped up and we were free to leave. The only problem was the fact that I still had an hour and a half until my hairdressers appointment. I decided to make the dreaded trip to the Hampton Roads Transit office and pick up my bus tickets (I have decided to ride the bus at least three times a week) and along the way Muffin fell asleep. Which meant that I had to wake her up to go into the office. Which meant that Muffin was cranky.

Once in the car again she promptly fell back asleep and I let her rest up until the time of my appointment. It seemed to do her some good as she was generally well behaved at Ms. Brenda's, my hairdresser. It was either the nap or the promised trip to McDonalds - but I'm not going to speculate.

While waiting for my hairdresser I perused the shelves of hair care products and decided, on impulse, to invest in my hair. I bought a new ionic hairdryer and a Chi flat iron. It was a splurge, but I justified it as a Christmas Present To Me. Don't we all need one of those?

All in all, I'd say it was a good day. Though, I'm glad to get back to our regular schedule today. All that "togetherness" is a little tiring but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Have a good weekend!

Holiday Party

Today we are having a Holiday Party where I work. Not the kind of party that involves booze, karaoke and a regrettable pass or two at your cute co-worker. No, it's a family Holiday Party - complete with a visit from Santa! And Santa is bringing presents for the little boys and girls!

This means that I can bring Muffin to work with me and that's pretty cool. Granted, I'll have work to do in the morning but I'm bringing my trusted mini-dvd player, some coloring books and a bunch of crayons to keep her busy until Party Time.

This is also the week where my gray roots are making life miserable. As it happens, the only appointment my hairdresser had for me is this afternoon at 4:30pm. So, Muffin and I will be taking the mini-dvd player, coloring books and crayons over to her place as soon as we've had our fill of Holiday Cheer.

Needless to say, it's going to be a long day for Muffin - with no nap. I'm hoping that the distractions and gift from Santa (a Littlest Petshop Toy) will keep her in good spirits but one can never tell. As a back-up plan I will tempt her with a visit to "Old McDonald's" and hope that holding that over her head will ensure good behavior. Bad parenting skill? Perhaps, but if it works I'm not above using a little bribery.

At any rate, I'm sure I'll be ready for a glass of wine by the time we finally make it home. Here's hoping that it all goes smoothly! Let the games begin!

Wordless Wednesday - New Neighbor

Freaking. Huge. Spider. Right outside my front door! Yikes!!!

Crafty Tuesday - Bookmarks!

Since scarves take significantly longer to make than dishrags and bookmarks I will not have a picture for some time. However, I am working on one and hope to have it completed by Christmas.

I decided to try my hand at bookmarks because they are cute as well as practical! I found a little yarn store not too far from the house and brought home some gray tweed yarn along with a new set of wooden knitting needles. I have discovered that wooden knitting needles are nice and "grabby" - they don't let the yarn slide off like the metal ones.

I followed the directions and my first bookmark turned out like this:

Doesn't it look a little puny? It's close resemblance to some kind of a slug prompted me to tweak the pattern just a little. Also, I apparently need some work on making my casted on stitches tighter and my binding off stitches looser.

So, here is the second try:


A side by side comparison!

I think Bookmark #2 is a keeper. I also think that a little bead at the top might set the whole thing off nicely. So, I'm going to google bead shops in the area to see what I can come up with. Maybe I'll find another skein of yarn too since, upon reflection, gray is a bit somber. So many choices! Whee!

Last Week In Cute Quotations

Muffin is a veritable fount of adorable quotes, in my opinion. Most of our conversations seem to occur in the car. Probably because we spend half of our life there... Last week alone prompted these scenarios:

In the car on the way to ballet class:

Me: "Did you know that I get to observe your ballet class tonight? I can't wait!"

Muffin: "Yes, I know that. I know everything."

Me: "Everything? Really?"

Muffin: "Yes." pause "Well, except for the things I don't know - of course!"

Me: "Obviously..."

In the car on the way home:

Muffin: "Do you see that jet?"

Me: "Yes, it's flying very low isn't it?"

Muffin: "Why is it flying low?"

Me: "Uh, I dunno"

Muffin: "I think it's because it doesn't want to hit Jesus." pause "It's not nice for people to hit Jesus is it?"

Me: "No, no it isn't..."

In the car on the way to school:

Muffin: "I think that it's raining and snowing at the same time. I see the plops in the puddles"

Me: "Well, either way they're both a form of precipitation"

Muffin: "What's that?"

Me: "It means they're both made out of water molecules."

Muffin: "Oh," pause "You know, momecules is a rhyming word for mom."

I love how non-plussed she is by words she's not familiar with. She will always find some way to work them into our conversations. Last week it was the word "mistaken" which she mispronounced "mistaking." She was quite earnest when she told me that she was mistaking concerning a certain My Little Pony episode.

I'm positive that I will hear both the words "precipitation" and "momecule" in the very near future. I can't wait.