My Lost Boyfriend...

Ok, on the heels of my last post I am obliged to write that I am indeed attracted to living breathing men. Namely Sawyer. From Lost. Which is one of my favorite tv shows (right after Survivor and right before ANTM.) The new season starts TONIGHT! I'm beside myself with excitement. I might even stay up past my bedtime (9pm) to watch the first episode instead of trying to block out all forms of media until the weekend when I can watch it on TiVo.


So, here's my equally-unlikely-to-meet boyfriend Sawyer. Isn't he dreamy?

"Baby, I am tied to a tree in a
jungle of mystery"

I was looking through the google images of him and trying to find one that exactly captures the attraction I have for him. You see, he's the resident badass of the island and he has the ability to complete disarm you with a devilish smile. The picture above almost captures the look, but not quite.


Here's another:

"I'm a complex kinda guy,
Sweetheart."

Granted, the smile isn't quite there - but you get the idea. I love that look. Also, I'm aware that this picture wasn't taken from the show but look at him in that tux! grrrr.


I came across many pictures that showed off his rock hard abs, but I didn't want to run the risk of melting my computer screen so I abstained. However, rest assured, if you need a fix you need only search on google or photobucket - there are plenty.


Along those lines, let me tell me about a Lost theory I have. Basically, I believe that the smoke monster, aka Smokey, is specifically attracted to Sawyer's shirt. Therefore, he would be doing the island folks a favor if he completely did away with his entire shirt wardrobe. Yes, I recognize that there are some holes in this theory - but I choose to ignore them. It's my fantasy so I write the rules!

Well, I hope that puts your mind to rest concerning my possible mental health. Yes, I like real live boys - but only if I can't possibly meet them. :)

**edit**
All this talk about Sawyer made me run to youtube for a fix. Here's a video of some of his best moments - enjoy!

A little explaination and a confession

So, the picture in my header is from one of my favorite movies of all time - Princess Mononoke. Just in case anyone was curious. Probably not, because as far as I can tell no one has even looked at this page. But, no matter! The blog will go on.

I love anime. I have loved it since I first watched Robotech back in the day. (By "back in the day" I mean middle school. And I'm not going to dwell on how long ago that was...) So anyway, I watched whatever anime I could get my hands on until I got to college and was able to stay up WAY past my bed time and see oldies like Project A-ko and Akira on the Sci-Fi channel. (Another aside - this was back when the Sci-Fi channel was good. Again, many moons ago.)

Then, Cartoon Network started to air Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z in the afternoons and I was so stoked! I would rush home from class and get my anime fix before heading out to one of three different jobs I was trying to hold down. Now, I'm not claiming that Sailor Moon or DBZ represent the best of the crop, I'm just saying I was glad to finally be able to watch some anime when the sun was up. The Cartoon Network program was named Toonami and it went on to showcase many other different "kid friendly" anime shows but I'll always remember it for magical girls and a bunch of aliens that would rather talk shit than actually fight. Ahh, memories.

As if all of these goodies weren't enough - Adult Swim came along around midnight on the Cartoon Network to showcase the "not so kid friendly" anime shows. And that, folks, is where I first saw Cowboy Bebop which is, as you may or may not know, the best anime EVER! (little known fact: my blog is a small reference to this ground breaking show.)

Meet Spike Spiegel. He's my anime boyfriend

After Cowboy Bebop I started to actively research anime and develop my own tastes and preferences. Additionally, I discovered that it's possible to develop a crush on an animated character. And by now, I have a harem of them. You may think this is a little sad and/or creepy - but as my friend Debbie points out "You're chances of meeting Brad Pitt are equally impossible." So, I don't feel too bad anymore.

So, all gushing aside, I'm a huge fan. I'll probably post a few reviews here and there that will reflect my opinion of various anime shows I've had the pleasure (or revulsion) to watch. I may even post reviews of other things I like such as sci-fi/fantasy books, mysteries, reality tv and pretty much anything BBC.

Apparently, I'm not very evil. :(

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 60% Envy: 20% Wrath: 20% Gluttony: 0% Greed: 0% Lust: 0% Pride: 0% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14% You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.

http://www.blogthings.com/howsinfulareyouquiz/">How Sinful Are You?

Colds and Chemo

Well, it's Saturday morning again... Not much to write about this week. I'm still rocking the braces and suffering beautifully. :) We're going to head out for Taekwondo shortly and afterwards I think we'll just come straight home. It's absolutely freezing outside and frankly I think I'm getting another cold. Yes, one of the joys of having a preschool aged child is the plethora of germs they bring home. Lovely.

Three weeks ago I mentioned something about organizing something or other and guess what - I haven't done it yet. I am a victim of procrastination. Well, that and perpetual laziness, but I already used that excuse. I'd just rather read a book than put some effort into bettering my living space.

So, moving on, my brother had chemo yesterday. He's lucky that he only had to get one dose of the stuff. Hopefully the cancer has all been removed and this chemo treatment will just ensure that there is no residual stuff left behind. He was feeling alright when I spoke to him yesterday but he said that they had dosed him pretty heavily with anti-nausea medication so I hope he continues to feel alright today. Luckily he has his cat Sweetie to keep him company way down there in San Antonio, TX. My parents have offered to drive down and stay with him for a while, but so far he hasn't taken them up on that. I wish I lived closer to him. It's been such a tough year for him.

Well, I'd better wrap it up so I can get my little muffin in her Taekwondo uniform. It's time to go watch the little fleas bounce around! Maybe I'll pick up some theraflu while we're out...

Of Food and Love

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm getting the bottom row of wires put on. I've had the brackets on my teeth for two weeks and the top wires on for one week. Now it's time for the bottom wires and then my Frankenstein mouth will be complete. So, I ate like a king tonight. Homemade potato soup, extra sharp Vermont cheddar, super soft french bread. Mmmmm.... I mean, if I'm going to be in excruciating pain for the next week or so I may as well have a fond memory to keep me company whilst I eat yogurt and tomato soup.

I believe that this fondness of food is my ultimate downfall. I like taste! I like to savour cheese and meat. I like to linger over the soft buttery crumbles of a croissant. I'm a hedonist! I don't think that will ever go away. I may moderate my culinary desires in the future - but for the most part, I'm always going to eat things that I love - not things that are "good" for me. It's a shame that I don't take pleasure in the crisp snap of baby peas or the satisfying crunch of celery - but so be it. I like cheese, meat and bread. And the plethora of culinary combinations of the three. Oh yeah - and refried beans. Damn, I love those things.

My little girl, God bless her, seems to like more veggies than her mom - for which I'm quite grateful. She is getting the full frontal attack of the single parent. I'm feeding her well, teaching her to read (at age four!) and have signed her up for ballet, tap and Taekwondo. I sing her to sleep after reading a story at night and always tell her that I love her when I buckle her into her car seat. I am consumed. I am obsessed with being a good parent. I sometimes feel that my own identity has become "Muffin's Mom. You know - the good parent." Because lets face it - you all think that you are doing everything for you kids because you intrinsically desire it. But that's patently false. We do it because we're afraid. We are afraid of letting our children down. We are afraid to fail them.

My parents grew up in a time where it was every family's goal to guarantee that the children were better off than the parents. This has become an increasingly more difficult goal to attain. Our culture has evolved. Where my parents grew up on farms and were privileged to attend college - it was expected of me. I am a first generation white-collar college educated family. And so are my peers. The expectation to go forth and excel was ingrained from the cradle. So, how can I ensure that my daughter's future will exceed my own? I really have no idea. And I'm sure I'm not alone. Hence the lessons, hence the home-schooling after school. Whatever the future holds, I want to ensure she's prepared. It's my duty and obligation. And, strange as it may sound - It's my pleasure.

Whew - so I'll graciously step down from the soap box and regroup.

Obviously, I love my little girl. (And a well made creme brulee). However, there are many, many other things that I delight in as well - but that's for another post, another day.

Best Diet Aide Ever

Ok, I have made progress in the diet department - I've lost 4 pounds this week!! But, I can't really say it was because of any additional willpower or special diet food. It's because I had braces put on Monday afternoon. Yes, braces - the best diet aide ever.

Now, I'm not claiming that sore teeth (well, a sore mouth in general) and a diet of yogurt, refried beans and mashed potatoes is necessarily the best way to lose weight - I'm just saying it worked for me. Any time I would be tempted to say "screw it! I'm going through the drive-through!" I was reminded that it was impossible to eat anything at a fast food restaurant. (Well, except pintos and cheese at Taco Bell - I love those things!)

And, let me add that a diet with refried beans as a staple may also assist in ridding you of any unnecessary friends. Lucky for me, my friends are all on the internet and can't smell me from across the etherspace. I think? I hope!

So, other than moping about and feeling sorry for myself I haven't made too much progress. I did sign my daughter up for Taekwondo and Ballet this week. This is part of my ongoing efforts to make her into a healthy, well adjusted person. Sometimes I think I'm making progress - other times I just shake my head.

Only last night I heard her coughing and crying upstairs and when I went to investigate she said had swallowed a Christmas Tree sticker. WTF? "Why?" I asked! And she responded "because I want attention." And what do you say to that? These are the times when I sincerely wish that Super Nanny would appear in a little bubble above my head and whisper parenting advice in my ear. Because, frankly I was stunned into silence. After making her drink an entire bottle of water to wash the thing down, I just hugged her and asked that she try and get attention by being a nice girl and minding her manners. To which she gave a lukewarm "ok" answer.

Should I include Better Parenting in my list of things I want to include in 2008? I have a feeling that it is something that will always need tweaking. Well, I'm off to shower and take my little darling to Taekwondo. It's so adorable to watch a bunch of four year olds bounce around like fleas.

On another note, we're supposed to get snow this evening. If you live in the south and snow is predicted - you can guess there will be a mad rush to the grocery for milk and bread. Maybe I'll go and observe. I could use some more mashed potatoes! :)

NEW AND IMPROVED FOR 2008

Oh wow, first post. It's January and while other people are making, keeping and forgetting resolutions, I'm creating a blog.

This month is almost half-way over and my goals of getting organized and losing weight are already starting to fade in fervency. The weight-loss thing is probably something I'll always live with. I'm a girl - it's what we think about. And the organized life thing is also something I'll always think about - like:

Wow, that stack of magazines is almost ready to topple. Perhaps I should do something about that. But, not right now...

Or

Where is that Parmesan cheese shredder I saw two years ago? Maybe it's in that black hole of a utility drawer in the kitchen. I should really think about cleaning that out. Hmm, maybe next weekend...

It's not like I don't have the desire to live in nice tidy house but apparently the desire isn't strong enough to overwhelm my inherent laziness. So, that's my little project. Overcome laziness. Except, it's actually a big project. Kind of a lifelong struggle really. And that thought alone makes me feel quite lazy. Maybe I should wrap up this first post and get some more coffee. No! Must persevere!

My weight-loss struggle can also be attributed to laziness. I'll have fits and spurts of disciplined behavior - in both diet and exercise. Then, I'll rest on my (plus-sized) laurels for... oh about six months before I realize that I'm right back where I started! Plus five pounds. And during that six months - when I'm slowing gaining back all that I've lost - here's what goes through my head:

Damn, I look great! I'm never going to let myself get that heavy again. Whoo Hoo! Size 10!

Then...

Hmm, those (several weekends of) margaritas seem to have made me bloated. Well, I'll just wear my "fat" pants. Only for this weekend. It's right before my period anyway. I'll get back on the program on Monday.

And finally...

Why don't the fat pants fit? Screw it, I'll just wear sweats. So what if Stacey and Clinton would hang me by my toenails. It's not like they're around to see me anyway. I think I'll comfort myself with a large cocktail and some chips.

So here it is 2008 and evidently whatever "plan" I've had in the past hasn't worked because I'm completely disorganized and overweight. I'm not making any promises, but my goal is to make some permanent headway. It's only two aspects of my life. It's not like I'm trying to become a whole different person - right? Then why does it seem like climbing Mt. Everest? I guess this is why everyone suggests "baby steps" and "mini-goals." God save me, I'm quoting self-help books. Well, whatever works! Next post will document some sort of progress. Wish me luck!