Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
That doesn’t mean I can’t ramble on though! Let’s hear it for some rambling!
I have fostered an addition in my child. She is now a hard core gamer. That’s right – when faced with a week of forced togetherness I broke down, went to the local game store and bought a Barbie horseback riding game. It was a life-saver at the time and now she wants to play it all the time. I’ve to get
Let’s hear it for being the Mama.
Sometimes being the Mama sucks though – like when you have to figure out where that odd smell is coming from? And when there are bugs to be killed… And snow to be shoveled… Though, Elliott did suggest that I toss Miss Muffin out there next winter because (in his words) it will make her strong, like bear! Know what? I’m totally going to do it. Next winter (and watch there be no snow) she’s getting her very own shovel to “help” Mama.
Speaking of “helping” Mama… I want to introduce my six-year-old to some real household chores. You know, make her earn her keep! I remember helping out with chores when I was young, but I can’t remember how old I was. I usually had to dust baseboards, vacuum, load the dishwasher and clean bathrooms but is that too much for my girl? I mean, she already makes her bed and keeps her room neat – doesn’t that mean she can graduate to some REAL housecleaning? Have I brought this up before? Maybe I’ll start her out with the bathroom – it’s my least favorite chore anyway.
Muahh ha ha hah… Let’s hear it for child labor.
Speaking of chores, guess who’s buying a new vacuum this weekend? That’s right – moi! Apparently the move did not agree with my old vacuum as it has begun to make some rather alarming noises and vibrates in my hand. Not that I have anything against the vibrating (ha!) but the noise? The noise concerns me. I’d hate to have the damn thing blow up and kill me. Wouldn’t that be a horrible thing for my daughter to see? Yikes! Does anyone else have crazy morbid thoughts like that? I got so paranoid over the bat-shit-crazy-landlady last fall that I insisted Muffin know how to dial 911 and my parents. Then I bought a new phone and haven’t taught her how to use it yet. Note to self…
I suppose that’s enough randomness for the time being… So, aside from vacuuming, monitoring my daughter’s game usage and teaching her how to dial 911 in case I keel over unexpectedly - we don’t have much planned for the weekend. We might *gasp* get out and go somewhere! Miracle of miracles! Or… not. That’s how we roll – unpredictable, unchained, free as the wind! Have a great weekend!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
see more funny facebook stuff!
No kidding! If I haven't "friended" them in the past year or so that probably means I don't WANT to "friend" them! PLEASE stop suggesting that I reconnect with someone I loathe!!! Kai Thks!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Am I the only one that finds pulling teeth disgusting? I can’t STAND it!! I can’t even bear to watch her wiggle the lose tooth. Makes me shudder and gag – no kidding. This is one of the toughest part of mommy-hood in my opinion. Still, it’s a necessary part and will hopefully be over in the next couple of years.
So, what is the going rate for a tooth? What do you guys do? And what am I supposed to do with all these little teeth? Make them into a necklace? A charm bracelet? Inquiring minds want to know!
Monday, February 22, 2010
So, today I had to get out at lunch to return my DVR player (insert growl) because it inexplicably broke down yesterday and started going bat-shit crazy. Thank goodness I still had a couple of DVDs of True Blood to watch because otherwise I’d have been seriously put out. I was still put out – but when the only option is to wait until Wednesday evening (the only “late” appointment available) or take the damn thing to Cox myself – I took matters into my own hands.
The only good thing about taking the piece of shit (did I mention that I’ve only had it since December?) to Cox was the fact that there is a Burger King in the same shopping area. And I love cheesy tots. If you’ve never had them, you don’t know what you’re missing and apparently you never will because DAMMIT they’ve been discontinued!
I was PISSED! I came back to the office and googled the shit and you know what? I’m not the only one who was angry at the deprivation of cheesy tots. There is a facebook page (which I promptly joined) dedicated to the protest! And I don’t protest. Much. In public anyway.
Burger King – you are on notice. There isn’t one thing left on your menu that I couldn’t get elsewhere. Bring back the effing cheesy tots or you will be considered dead to me. Cut off. No more of my hard earned money. Kaput.
Friday, February 19, 2010
I’m still going to vent though. This time, I’m venting about traffic. I know, I know – we all hate traffic and everybody thinks where they live is the worst. Believe me, I completely understand. I’ve driven in some pretty horrible places and am not about to say that the DC area is the worst. (even though it is) I’m just going to point out some of my observations.
1. Person most likely to cut you off? A woman. Yep. Soccer moms are bad, but the bitch in the sports car is the worst. I used to think that it was young punk ass kids that pulled that shit but apparently women who drive high-end cars have a sense of entitlement that allows their conscious to rationalize zooming up the side only to cut in front of someone who has been in that lane for 30 minutes.
2. Person most likely to ride your ass? Middle aged men. I’m thinking that this is because it’s the closest they “actually” riding an “real” ass so maybe they just can’t help themselves. Still pisses me off though.
3. Person most likely to not let you in off an acceleration lane? Men. Hands down – across the board. They ride the ass of the car in front of them and refuse to make room for someone who is rapidly running out of room in the acceleration lane. Punks!
4. Person most likely to cause an accident in a parking lot? Tiny people in large SUVs. They can’t effing see! Plus, half of them seem to want to back into an effing parking space! WTF is up with that, anyway?
5. Person most likely to cause an accident on the highway? Women. Again. On cell phones no less. Or texting. Pay attention! I have a precious six-year-old in my car and if I wreck because of you I will CUT YOUR HEART OUT!
My overall conclusion is that women actually ARE bad drivers. No wonder people want us off the road. I want those bitches off the road. Especially the ones who cut me off. Still, the men folk are just as bad. Sometimes I want to deliberately slam on the brakes and let that douche behind me buy me a new bumper. Sometimes I want to just plow right into that shiny BMW that refuses to let me in even though I legitimately have a reason to be merging!
But I am learning to cope with my road rage in small ways. Now I leave large gaps between me and the car in front of me on purpose because I know somebody is looking for that hole to dart into. I try to merge as soon as humanly possible so people won’t get the idea that I’m trying to “cut in line” and get ahead of them. I listen to classical music when Muffin is in the car and a book on CD when I’m on my own. I still dwell on the unfairness of traffic – but I try not to let it get the best of me. Stupid fuckers.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Or maybe even this guy:
But, no. Instead, my dreams were so surreal and vivid that I felt like I was watching a mish-mash of the two programs together. Without the sexy bits.
There was an airplane crash – in Louisiana! And the survivors (me included) wound up in an underground vampire lair trying to escape the evil smoke monster (played by Dev Patel who is going to play Zuko in the upcoming movie The Last Airbender) through a blow-up waterpark slide.
And that was just the beginning. There was a bunch of chasing and lots of escaping and large quantities of being terrified. All in all, not the ideal fantasy.
I woke up several times through the night and each time I fell asleep again – it was to the same story. With no Sawyer, no Bill, nobody I would care to get to know in a fantastic dream sequence! Rose and Bernard were there. *yawn* Sookie was there *snore* but no cute guys! Not even her crazy-ass brother! I mean, can’t a girl catch a break? Even in her dreams?
At least I enjoy both shows in real life – even if I can’t enjoy them in my dreams.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
You can see the wall of snow behind my lovely Paolo here. Needless to say, when the plow did come through I had to spend another hour of back breaking labor to make a path for him. Curse you snow plow! It's a love/hate relationship.
So, those are the pictures - none of my
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I suppose you have all read plenty of posts about Snowmageddon DC 2010 by now, haven’t you? Enough to make you want to tear out your eyeballs at the slightest mention of snow and snow-related bitching? Well, I won’t put you through that. Much. Just a couple of highlights:
1. Snow fall is pretty. Snow on the ground sucks. Three feet of snow on the ground sucks big time.
2. It took me a total of four hours to dig my car out. Twice.
3. Muffin refused to take a “winter walk” with me on the grounds that she was afraid I would lose her in the snow.
4. Muffin and I had just the tiniest bit too much togetherness.
5. Going to work last Friday was both a relief and a nightmare – the roads were terrible and honestly? Who closes for a WHOLE WEEK only to open on the Friday before a three-day-weekend?
That’s pretty much it. One would think I would have unpacked a lot of boxes but that didn’t happen. Hey – I’m giving myself to Easter remember? I still have something like six weeks to get everything squared away and anyway, snow days are for fun – am I right? Why waste a snow day doing something practical?
Today is Fat Tuesday and I’ve decided to give up booze for Lent. Let’s see how that goes shall we? Anybody else participating? If so, what are you giving up?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Upon first hearing of a “winter advisory” DON’T keep reminding your co-workers. They get it and most of them aren’t nearly as delighted as you seem to be.
When the anticipated snow date is a few days away DO ensure that you have properly stocked your liquor cabinet. Screw the milk and bread – vodka is the real necessity.
When you are 24 hours out from a publicized snow event DON’T take the word of the weather commentator that the precipitation is going to be around 20%. They have no flipping clue and it’s better to be over-prepared. Refer to the previous entry.
Once snow fall commences, DON’T take it upon yourself to engage in sightseeing with your out-of-town relatives. Yeah, they may want to go to that special shop and yeah, you might want to show it off but the ensuing 2 ½ hour ride home does NOT make it worth the trip.
During your enforced confinement DO try to make the best of the situation. Six-year-olds get stir crazy – do something fun! Play some cards, bake some cookies, drink the vodka and everything will turn out alright.
The next day, DO take a few minutes (or more!) to take pleasure in the winter wonderland. That pretty white stuff will soon turn black and yucky – enjoy it while you can. Let the kids run off some of that pent-up energy. Take a nice long walk but DO make sure it’s after you’ve shoveled out your car because trust me, you won’t want to do it when you get back.
If you happen to be visiting someone who lives in a complex of some sort DON’T park in a nicely shoveled out space. The person who did all that work is going to
That's about all I've got - any more suggestions? Muffin and I are well stocked and I'm hoping to have a few left overs from Breakfast Club as well. We've got all sorts of indoor entertainment lined up and I'm kind of excited - it will be our first blizzard on our own! We've always had company before. Stay warm out there!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever
My office mate is already wishing for his own demise. Bwahh ha ha hah...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My department is fairly large and when I first came onboard I was told about Breakfast Club. Every Friday a different member of Breakfast Club would bring in a huge breakfast spread for the other members. Membership is not mandatory but let me tell you – if you so much as look at the buffet you had better be prepared to join. Actually, there are so many of us that at this point a body only has to bring breakfast four times a year! Anyway, standards are high. Very high. Waffle bars get set up, people bake quiches in the wee hours of the morning to bring in, people boil down pumpkins for fresh pumpkin muffins, people stay up and make salmon strada the night before! Fresh fruit is always provided as well as a wide selection pastries, yogurt other yummy goodies. It’s an event.
Last Friday, Breakfast Club was somewhat of a letdown. The member who’s turn it was brought in twelve yogurt cups, a box of Hostess Coffee Cakes and three different containers of fruit. Let me tell you – the outrage basically destroyed all productive work for the day. Emails flew about, the member had his car keys pressed into his hand and was pointed in the direction of the parking garage to go forth and bring back a REAL breakfast. He came back with some Challa Bread (?) and organic cream cheese.
More emails flew about and the member was almost expelled from Breakfast Club. There are some pretty big fellows in the Club and they need their dirty carbs and meat products! They don’t care about “organic” and “gourmet” shit! They need substance! The offending member complained that he didn’t buy much because last time there was so much left over. The response was: There would be no leftovers if you brought something GOOD!
All of this was quite good natured and only a little passive aggressive but needless to say, I know have a very clear understanding of what is expected of me when it’s my turn. Which happens to be this Friday. *Gulp* Anyone know a good catering company?