Saturday, May 31, 2008
1. The fact that she completely made up a word two years ago and continues to use it. This word is "alsoly" or maybe it should be spelled "awesoly" I'm not sure. Anyway, she uses it instead of "also" and she uses it instead of "always." So it's a multipurpose word and being a multitasking type gal - I can dig it.
2. The fact that she offered to clean up the cat sick this morning. I mean, really. That's the whole reason to have kids - isn't it? So that they can fetch beer (in my case, wine) and clean up? At four she has already secured her spot in the household.
3. The fact that she sincerely wants to be self-sufficient and is eager to learn ways/things that will make her more so. You go Muffin! You're on your way to ensuring that you'll never be let down because you can always do for yourself. Case and point - the DVD controls. She absolutely HAS to be in control of the remote. If she doesn't know what's going on, she'll ask but she won't relinquish control. Again, like mother - like daughter.
So yeah. She rocks. Sometimes I want to strangle her with whatever is available, but mostly I'm just glad that she "allows" me to hug her and plant a big fat wet kiss on her cheek. I love you Muffin! May you always be as independent, helpful and completely self reliant as you are right now.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I vow to add a few posts with some substance in the near future. Promise. Thanks for bearing with me in my man-deprived, boy-crazy state of mind.
Jeez! Note to self: GET OUT MORE!
We saw Speed Racer this afternoon (I KNOW! Three movies in one week!) and it blew me away. It was a technicolored candy dish of a movie. Fun, funny and incredibly action packed - it is an absolute thrill ride. I enjoyed it. Glad I got to see it on the big screen. Best part? Racer X.
Matthew Fox was perfect and he didn't act like Jack at all! Yay Matthew Fox! I'm still going to be a Sawyer girl first and foremost - but you can pinch hit for him any time, babe.
So here's a picture of my new fantasy boyfriend. I hope he's of legal age!
He's so adorable. Can I keep him, please? I promise to feed him and take him for walks every day!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Seriously, it's perfect.
It's so perfect that I'm considering skipping my afternoon workout and going somewhere heavily populated so that everyone can see my perfect hair.
Maybe I'll buy some new lip gloss to go with my perfect hair.
Or maybe I'll just go home and pray for my soul.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
After it was all over, the police had to redirect everyone because the highway was in shambles. It took me five hours to find an alternate route home because I really know absolutely nothing about Suffolk. Anyway, I figured that after that experience - I'd paid off any highway karma debt I owed for a long, long time.
It's been two years since I was in a storm like that. The last time was the Summer of 2006 when I had to drive through a hurricane in order to be an usher in a stupid graduation ceremony where I work. The drive was awful, roads were flooded, cars were stalled out, the wind was terrible. But - I did as I was directed and came in only to be told that they decided maybe it wasn't a good idea to hold the ceremony during a hurricane and by the way, I could turn around and go home. No the hell I wasn't going home! I just got out of that mess! So, I sat at my computer and watched the weather channel's Doppler radar until I thought I could brave it again.
That being said, when the tornado experience happened I figured I had it coming. It'd been nearly two years and I hadn't experienced any hair-raising traffic scares in a while. Nature needed me to learn that I should never be complacent, blah, blah, blah.
But yesterday, (just three weeks after the freaking tornado) I went out to my car and saw that the sky was green. Green! In my job I've seen some very interesting weather conditions, but I've never seen a green sky. I had planned to do a little shopping after work, but decided that it might be in my best interest to head straight home instead.
About five minutes later, the sky opened up and the rain came in sheets across the road. Well, I can handle rain. Even hard rain. Then, I noticed a peculiar "pinging" noise and saw that a few raindrops were actually bouncing off my car. Bouncing rain drops?
Then the bouncing raindrops got bigger and the noise got louder and I was reminded of that time when I worked at the golf course and those asshole golfers actually aimed at me when I drove the little ball-fetcher-mobile around the driving range. Yeah, it was freaking hail. At first the hail wasn't very big but then it got to be about the size of a marble and then, according to the news reports, it got as big as a quarter.
If it was just little bitty hail, I wouldn't have freaked out - but this shit was huge and loud and there was lots of it! Seriously - have you ever heard one of those "rain stick" things? It sounded a lot like that except it was louder and lasted for about 20 minutes. And I was thinking to myself "Really? Again with the nasty storm on the highway? Sheesh!" I was hunched up in my car, shoulders up to my ears, hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel when I turned to the side and noticed the joker next to me calmly talking on his cellphone and driving with one hand. Seriously? In this storm, with that wind, not to mention the HAIL - you really need to talk on your cell?
I must be a complete weather pussy. Either way, I hope that NOW my weather karma debt has finally been fulfilled. And yet, hurricane season is just around the corner. brrrr...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I have a shelf on my desk that is literally over six inches high with "to be framed" pictures of my daughter in various cute stages of life. The picture on my desk of the two of us is so old that Muffin is sporting a mo-hawk and I've still got my big breast-feeding boobs. (Damn, I miss those boobs!)
It's not like frames are that hard to come by - I've seen some great ones in Kohls and TJ Maxx. However, every time I go near the frame section I start to get overwhelmed with the choices! Do I want wood, silver, bronze, one with a cute phrase, one with intricate details, what do I want!?! Before you know it I'm freaked out and moving on to the shoe section (because damn, who can't use more shoes!).
Still, we just got some great family pictures taken and there is a super cute one of me and Muffin. I'm going to pull on my big girl panties and make a choice. Today. Whew.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Hope ya'll are having as fine a day as we are here in VAB. I'm off to cook some pizzas on the grill and drink some wine.
Maybe I'll even drink it out of a wine glass as opposed to cup. I'm a "dropper." I drop nice things and I have no control over it so if I'm ever at your house - please don't let me hold anything you ever want to see/use/cherish again.
Have you ever read Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins? Allow me to paraphase a line from that book: My hands are the place where glassware comes to die.
Guess that sums it up. *Ahem* Now, about that wine...
Saturday, May 17, 2008
It's sappy, but it's indicative as to why I still listen to NPR and why I'm still in the service of the US Navy.
I heard this song on "A Prairie Home Companion" earlier this evening.
It made me cry.
I believe that this song is symbolic of why war is both horrible and beautiful at the same time.
I can not identify this song with anyone I know - or their loved ones. However, I realize that in this- I am an innocent.
I am forever grateful of that kind of innocence.
I am forever grateful for those that give me this innocence.
Semper Fidelis. Hoo Ra. God Bless.
Friday, May 16, 2008
It was pacing back and forth, scratching at the glass and making weird chittery noises. I was instantly reminded of those awful zombie movies. (You know, where the zombies surround your house and look for ways to get at the main characters!) I tapped the glass and it chittered at me but didn't go anywhere. This may be the point where sensible people call animal control or ghost busters - but not me. I went for the camera.
Have you ever tried to take a picture through a
Then to make matters worse, it's little buddy came down and started yelling at me too. Clearly they were planning an attack and I was already thinking how funny my obit was going to read. Thankfully we were all saved by a robin whose dive-bomb out of nowhere spooked the little savages and sent sent them scurrying off.
A heroic bird saved us the zombie squirrels.
Is it too early in the day to start drinking?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Aside: I've often told Sissy, my older sister who lives with me, that I watch the Hispanic cable station for the drama. What this says about me, I'm not sure I want to know - but it's so true! The telenovela has the corner market on drama!
On top of the drama - they've got super awesome period costumes. It's absolutely fantabulous. The best part about this show, aside from the drama, is the drinking. It's absolutely marinated. And I love it! By the way, for the record, I don't speak Spanish - I just wish, really hard, that I could so that I could fully embrace the telenovela experience. *sigh*
So, speaking of drama... did I mention my daughter's irrational fear of public toilets?
No? Well, let me elaborate... In truth, it's not really the public potty that's the problem - it's the automatic flushing mechanism. She was spooked a couple of years ago during the potty training phase and has since associated all public toilets with a scary noise. Flash forward to our trip to the local Wawa today...
(btw, Wawa is the best gas station/convenience store ever built. Three words - Free ATM Service. Need I say more?)
So, we were inside looking for something to drink and, naturally, Muffin decided she really had to go to the bathroom. We take a detour to the Wawa's impeccably clean restrooms and Muffin does her business. I'm rooting through my purse for some lipstick when suddenly the toilet flushes. Loudly. And Muffin come screaming out of the stall (pants around her knees) at high speed.
"The loud potty hurt my feelings!" she screams. I hug and comfort her - to no avail. She's basically inconsolable. Not even the 16 oz Wawa double chocolate milk will make it right. And you know what? At this point, I really should have known better. There I was, more concerned with my lipstick than ensuring that her potty experience would be stress free.
Ka-Ching! Do you hear that? Yet another dollar contributed to the therapy fund.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Yes, I'm home in NC again. I'm not spending the whole week here, just staying until Wednesday and then it's back to my real life. My brother is visiting from Texas and yesterday my Mom had all of her children along with her one, very special, grandchild together for Mother's Day. It's too bad the gift didn't arrive. My poor brother did a lot of research to find the perfect watch for Mom and when he placed the order in FEBRUARY they said it would get here in plenty of time. Whoops, they were wrong. Assholes.
Still, she seemed to be happy that we were all together. Actually, after a whole pitcher of margaritas Mom was pretty happy in general. We went out for Mexican after getting our picture taken. Oh yes, we had our picture taken. Because this is a once in a lifetime event and it's been 20 years since the last family portrait. Mom asked us all to wear a navy blue top with blue jeans. It turned out pretty well! My elder sister recommended the "beach scene" background and with our casual attire we really swanked it up.
Is that a word? Swanked? Well, we did. Here's the picture to prove it - check out Ms. Bebop herself - lounged in front with a very sassy look on her face. Mee-ow!
(Also, please note that I am the only Hispanic looking member of the family. That's because I insisted on my Mystic Tan. I'm an addict. What else can I say? But hey - I've got good color!)
Ha, ha! Famblee! (Hmmm, if you haven't been raised on the George C. Scott version of The Christmas Carol, you probably don't know what I'm talking about... Go rent it next Christmas!)
So, the point of this post? Mother's Day is special. Treat her like a queen. Even if that means you're the only Hispanic-looking "child" in the grouping.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Apparently, it's 100% acceptable for the wicked witch in Sleeping Beauty to transform into a dragon and wreak havoc upon all mankind. And yet, when her "real life" counter-part attempts the same - all hell breaks loose.
This movie is cute and charming. I admire the cast of charcters (Dr. McDreamy and dude from 27 dresses). The integration of real-time and animation was inspiring (better than Who Framed Roger Rabbit!). I am especially inspired by the "love conqures all" theme. I believe that it's something all young women should live by.
I'm done. Is this over yet? I don't like this. Is there pop-corn? I'm scared. That lady is scary. Mama, that lady is evil.
End result: My daughter, traumatized yet again. I'm beginning to despair of us ever watching a movie together that isn't animated. Thank goodness I love Disney!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Because my four-year-old - the task master, the slave driver - won't have it.
"What are we going to do today Mama?"
"Um, I was thinking we'd stay in our jammies and watch Disney movies!"
"No, I don't think so. I think you need to put some clothes on me. And on you."
"Yes Ma'am. We need to go somewhere. You need to buy me some shoes."
*Sigh* So much for a lazy Sunday. Target - here we come!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I've had a HUGE crush on Hal Sparks since my very first VH1 "I love the 80's" episode. So witty. So insightful. So cute. Dream guy. PLUS! I think he's gay - which puts him in that "unattainable" category of men that I lust after for some reason. But, I digress...
Hal Sparks from "I love the 80's," "I love the 80's part deux," and "I love the 80's 3D" is a sweet, charming, funny (Hawt) guy-next-door that you would totally love to make out with. Observe:
Altogether - a perfect package.
While channel surfing I ran across an advertisement for a new VH1 celebreality show - CelebraCadabra! The title alone is gay beyond words. I was mentally scoffing the concept when who should appear before my eyes? Hal Sparks!! Looking SKANKY! And the little part of my soul that still believed in fairies died.
Oh Hal! What is going on with you? Please do this fan-babe a favor and clean up your act - and I'm not talking about the magic. Cut the hair, lose the "I'm really a metal head" attire and get back to doing what you do best: Providing witty commentary to pop culture.
Oh, and by the way, Hal, if you're not gay? Call me! Kai, thanx.