Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Wowzer. ANTM Favorite Quote Episode 10:2

"To be completely honest, like the whole fashion thing... I'm not... It doesn't interest me at all."

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid Kimberly. She was lucky to walk out of there alive because we all know how much Tyra Banks hates quitters. Seriously Kimberly - why on earth did you audition for the show if you don't want to be a model? There are chicks crying over the fact that they didn't make it to the show and you took a spot from one of them. It didn't even make good TV! I mean, the least you could have done was make a spectacle of yourself - or give Tyra a reason to make a spectacle of herself. But we got NOTHING! Oh well, I’m sure you’re wondering why I chose that quote if it fills me with such angst (or maybe not, maybe you don’t care). I don’t know why I chose it. I guess it was just the obvious thing to do. Anyhoo…

Otherwise this week was full of seeing the new ANTM digs, doing a run way gig in freezing cold and going to a homeless shoot.

(Aside: ANTM/Tyra likes to have a cause. Last season it was anti-smoking and I’m thinking this season it will be awareness. Awareness of the plight of the less fortunate (as seen in the homeless shoot) or maybe just awareness in general. That way Tyra could cover a lot of bases at once. Seeing as she is a model/talk show host/creator of ANTM it would probably behoove her to use a blanket strategy when choosing her “cause of the season” so that isn’t spread too thin. Although, being “too thin” is probably something Tyra wouldn’t object too… Hmmm…)

We didn’t really get a chance to see much more personality traits from the models - there’s only so much you can show in one hour! However, I’m thinking that as the season rolls on I will still dislike Marvita – she’s “broke-down” to quote Ms. Jay. And, despite the fact that she has been horribly mutilated in the genital area – I’m going to be brave and say I don’t like Fatima either. She is full of attitude and that’s not pretty. I love Whitney – plus size girls generally don’t stand a chance on this show, but I’ll suspend my disbelief for Whitney. Finally, that chick Anya is a loon and l dearly love crazy people. She seems to be doing well too! Yay Crazy Girl! I don’t have much of an opinion on the others yet but I’m sure I’ll be quick to label them and deride them for their lack of modeling skills in upcoming posts! Something to look forward too! Yay!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tribute to Winston and my own cats reaction:

In my efforts to discover a perfect shot of Winston for the edification of my last post - I discovered that my own two cats had a response to the cry of Winston. Here is the video that I played on my home computer:

And here are the before and after shots of my own (old and crabby) cats. They could barely muster enough energy to turn their lethal laser-beam eyes on me! Seriously! I mean, aren't cats supposed to be the epitome of a woman? Beautiful, jealous, difficult to please and impossible to train? Am I right? Well, apparently after 14 years (not sure how many that is in "people/cat" years) they just don't give a damn. Hmmm, kind of like the Golden Girls, no?

Zephyr and Louis, minding their own business,

"What is this? Another cat in the house? Surely

"Ok, fine. I'll lick myself while you pretend indifference."

ANNNDDD.... Twenty minutes later, they have changed very little. Who could have predicted that? Yes, they are old and lazy but I love them.

(Aside - please note that the pink carpet will be the FIRST household item to be changed with my tax return? Ok? Thanks!)

ANTM is back!!

Yes, I'm addicted to silly reality shows and ANTM is one of my favorites! Last week was the premire of Cycle 10 and it was quite entertaining. If you are looking for hilarious re-caps of ANTM complete with snarky comments - please read Rich at fourfour or Potes at TWOP because they can do it way better than me. Seriously - Rich from fourfour is my hero. I <3 Rich.

(Aside - did you know that Rich from fourfour is the proud owner of Winson the cat? Don't know who Winston is? Why, he's the most famous internet cat EVER!! His videos are all over youtube and cuteoverload frequently features him as well. He's an adorable goofy fuzz-ball of a cat. Go look him up!)

So, anyway, I haven't decided if I want to do a "favorite quote" thing for ANTM. However, that chick Anya looks like she's going to provide plenty of fodder for awesome quotes... Still... I don't know... We'll see how tomorrow night's episode goes... I mean, Tyra herself is usually pretty good about throwing out ridiculous sayings! Hmm, I may be talking myself into it... Oh what the hell - it's not like I have a life! Well, not much of one anyway besides the mothering and the homework and the job and stuff. Plenty of time on my hands! Whee!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Favorite Quote from Lost Episode 4.4: Eggtown

"At least be woman enough to tell me you want to use me for

I am totally woman enough to tell Sawyer that I want to use him for some seriously x-rated stuff. But, alas - he was talking to Kate and not me. :( Still, I'm glad to see our favorite island bad boy back in action. I especially love how he didn't come to Kate's rescue after Locke had discovered her. Showing that once again, self-preservation is his priority. I don't blame him - Kate is the very definition of a flight risk, right? Why should he stick his neck out for a chick that's just going to up and leave?

Wow - Kate's trial. I have to say; she was looking very nice in her expensive clothes with the super trendy sunglasses. My buddy Debentropy noted that she was basically the only nice looking person in the courtroom - in her words "everyone else looked like trolls!" HA! Sad, but true. Also, now we know the "him" that Jack was referring to in last season's finale. Apparently, Jack doesn't want to see little Aaron and at the time of that particular flash forward, he hadn't changed his mind. He lost his mind, but didn't change it (seriously, Jack - the beard does nothing for you).

I have to admit that I wasn't too surprised to find out that Kate's "son" was Aaron. I don't think that the creators and writers of Lost would be so obvious as to make Jack reluctant to see the love child of Sawyer. I think his reluctance stems from knowing that Aaron is his sister's son and that he somehow had a hand in either leaving Claire behind or getting Claire killed. Of course, that means that somewhere in a future episode Jack will have to find out that Claire is his sister - but that has to happen eventually anyway.

Overall I was again pleasantly surprised by this week's episode. Not shocked by the reveal of Aaron as Kate's son - no, shocked by Locke's return to la-la land! He's officially off his rocker, once again! Yee Haw! I've always been a fan of Crazy Locke - so I look forward to more insane antics from his corner. Leaving Miles with a live grenade in his mouth is priceless! (I hope that strategy works because I want to know all about the freighter people too!)

Can't wait for this Thursday!! We finally get to see what happened to Sayid and Desmond! And, did I mis-hear or was Desmond demanding that Dan Faraday tell him about his death?!? More craziness! Yay!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Favorite Quote from Survivor Fans v/s Faves: Ep. 3

"If I don't trust you then you can't believe a word I tell you."

Again, this comes from Cirie. She is a fountain of wisdom. However, I believe that fountain is about to run dry, as Cirie seems to be getting a little cocky for her own good. I mean, if James (who is noted for brawn - not brains) manages to catch on that she is getting above herself, she's in trouble.

I have to admit that I was sad to see Yau Man go. He's a really likeable guy and I would like to have seen him go all the way again. I can understand the strategy, but it's still sad.

On the Fan side of the house, that oaf Joel is getting on my nerves more and more. Ousting Mary was stupid, but he seems to think that he should be recognized as some great strategist. Dream on, buddy.

In other Survivor news - that rainstorm looked awful! I can't even imagine having to endure that kind of hardship. Poor Kathleen and Ami had to tough it out on Exile Island too - pure hell! This is why I like to play Survivor from my couch - no rain, spiders or physical challenges. Plus, there's no one around to contradict my ultimate wisdom! Even better! :)

Who knows what will happen next week. At least neither team is dominating - I'm glad of that. I'm sure we'll see more of Joel being an ass and more of Cirie digging her own grave but I hope they leave out more of Amanda and Ozzy making out. Barf. Incidentally - I like how Parvati and Amanda are both willing to throw their boyfriends to the wolves. Female solidarity! Too bad Ozzy is such a challenge hog - he'll make it the end based on that alone. Still, I’ve been wrong before – may someone will get smart and vote him off before he gets the chance to dominate the challenges. Nah – they never behave the way we couch players think they should! :)

Inappropriate? You tell me.

My daughter is gifted with a voice that carries. She has that natural talent of projection. Seriously. Not only are Cheerleading Coaches everywhere scouting her, but Drill Sergeants everywhere are quivering because my daughter can out shout them any day of the week.

Ok, you have a good idea of what her vocal talents are like. Imagine that you’re shopping with your vocally gifted child in a store like… oh, say, Target. Imagine that your daughter, who has The Croup, coughs so violently that she passes gas at the same time. It’s hilarious but of course you can’t laugh because that would encourage future behavior of the same sort. So, instead, you chuckle silently to yourself.

Then, imagine that after you silently chuckle, your vocally gifted child make’s this announcement: “HEY MAMA!! I JUST HAD A REALLY BIG COUGH AND A REALLY BIG FART!! ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! HOW ABOUT THAT?!”

Ok, so I lost it. I laughed so hard tears where streaming out of my eyes. Well?!? What would you do?

The Croup

Lately, there has been no sleep to be had around here. You see, Muffin has "The Croup". I know, I know - The Croup is some kind of archaic disease that only afflicted weak little children of the 1800's, right? Wrong! It has infested Muffin's pre-school and my poor little darling has had a horrible time of it.

See, all I remember about The Croup is what I saw on that PBS version of Anne of Green Gables. (Do you remember that? Back in the 80’s? It was a great mini-series!!) In the story, Anne's BFF Diana's little sister had The Croup. Apparently, Diana’s parents were off to some fund-raiser/political rally when this happened. Diana came across miles of farm, in the snow, to fetch the only person she knew that might be able to help her little sister. That’s right – Anne! Anne turned out to be very level-headed (despite her day dreaming ways) and saved the day by administering ipecac to the little tyke all night long. This ultimately saved Anne's friendship with Diana because Diana's mother had previously forbidden Anne and Diana from hanging out on account of Anne inadvertently getting Diana drunk one time back in the summer. Whoo-hoo! Sounds like my childhood… ANYWAY!

My Muffin has a long history of lung ailments. She has seasonal allergies. All. Year. Long. She is slightly asthmatic (thanks to her Dad’s smoking). AND, any bronchial infection in a 50-mile radius seems to hone in and infest her. I’m not saying she has a weakness, because she’s pretty darn strong, no – she just has a natural proclivity towards lung infections as opposed to any other type of infections.

Ok, so that means I know all the tricks when it comes to treating Muffin’s cough. Or I thought I did, at least. She’s been coughing every night for almost a week and Thursday night was the worst! It was CONSTANT! And, it was this awful harsh barking-type cough. The type of cough that can sometimes lead to gagging/barfing and eww – nobody wants that! I’d been giving her Delsym, which is the best anti-cough medicine around. (Seriously – if your kid has a bacterial cough – that shit will keep them quiet all night.) So, I started off with the standard dose of Delsym. Around 1:00am she had an attack of barking coughs so I ran in there, gave her some water and rubbed her back for a while. The coughing didn’t stop. She couldn’t control it – it was so scary!

I came downstairs, mixed up a concoction of lemon juice and honey and fed it to her spoonful by spoonful. (Again, Mama Calicobebop says that if your kid has some sort of post-nasal drip feed them equal parts honey and lemon juice and it will stop the cough) That didn’t work either. Ok, time for the big guns.

So, I break out her asthma treatments – albuterol and flovent. Albuterol is a fast acting "rescue" to the lungs. Now, flovent is not a medicine to take with acute symptoms, but whenever I administer the albuterol I always follow it up with the flovent so her little lungs can get the full effect of the steroid. That didn’t work either!!!

As a last resort – I broke out the humidifier. I don’t like using the humidifier because Muffin gets “addicted” to the noise – but whatever works, right? I plugged it in, set it next to her bed and sat there praying the coughing would subside. It didn’t. It stayed and it sounded AWFUL! You must agree that seeing your child spasm in a wracking cough must be one of the top ten worst sights a parent can witness. I could do nothing to ease her discomfort. I stayed with her and sang different versions of Sing Me To Sleep by The Smiths. (Of course I changed the lyrics! She isn’t sung to sleep every night with a suicidal ballad thank you very much!) Finally around 5am she fell into a fitful sleep and I retired to my own bed. The next morning wasn’t pretty for either of us.

Needless to say, as soon as our pediatrician’s office was open, I was on the phone! We were ushered in to see our favorite doc – Dr. Maxine Beatty (honestly, the best pediatrician on the PLANET!!) She diagnosed The Croup. On top of that, she told me that everything I had done the night before was wrong. Entirely wrong for The Croup. The Croup is a virus and it’s pretty particular. It gets worse at night (natch) and can only be alleviated by a change in temp or humidity! Well, I tried that the night before with the humidifier – but humidifiers only bring a small amount of moisture into the room. Vaporizers are the way to go when you want large amounts of moisture. So, I failed the Mommy/lung test. I tried everything I knew and in the end my Muffin would have better served if I had just taken her outside! How do you like that?!?!

On top of the advice, she prescribed a strong steroid to get Muffin’s lungs happy. Additionally, she recommended reverting to our old nebulizer for Muffin’s albuterol treatment, as the added saline would do her lungs good. We followed all of Dr. Beatty’s directions to the letter and guess what? An entire 10 hours of sleep with no cough!!!! It is a miracle!! I’m looking forward to further nights full of rest. **snore**

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Favorite Quote from Lost Episode 4.3: The Economist

"Yeah, I saw you snap that guy’s neck with that break-dancing thing you do with your legs. I think I’ll hang back here. "
Damn this series gets better and better! Also, I love Hurley and this statement proves that he’s not only funny, but smart as well.

I love the title of this week’s episode! I'm an economist (how many people can actually say that?) so I feel a certain affinity. I sincerely hope that I'm not on Ben's list because that would suck. So far, I haven’t received a special bracelet so I’m probably in the clear. Although, if I were going to be assassinated I'd prefer it be by Sayid. His gentle soul is evident by the compassion he showed for Naomi by closing her dead eyes and volunteering her body for the extra space on the helicopter. Additionally, he's always had a hard time in the romantic department. First Nadia, then Shannon and apparently he lost the love game with Elsa as well. So if I was going to be killed by someone, I'd like to know that I broke his heart in the bargain. Call me “petty.” You wouldn’t be the first.

In other Lost news... Four of the Oceanic Six have been identified: Jack, Kate, Hurley and now, Sayid. Who are the remaining two? I'm guessing Claire and Sun. Claire was seen by Desmond getting into a helicopter and leaving the island. This vision was the reason behind Charlie's noble sacrifice - so I emphatically want it to come to fruition. As for Sun, since pregnancy and the island don't mix my hope would be that she gets transported to safety before her pregnancy kills her.

Ok, this just in!! Thirty-one minutes between the payload exiting the freighter and Dan Faraday receiving it on the island! Holy Crap! Time/Space quantum physics and the full-fledged jump into science fiction? Way to go! I know that Lost has “lost” a certain portion of it’s viewers that aren’t interested in their favorite Oceanic 815 survivors entering into the realm of the super-natural - but, I am all for it! Bring it on. Bring it!! WHOOO!! The crazier and more improbable the better!

Also, bring on Ben - what the hell kind of end game is he going for? His claim to have spent his entire life on the island has proven to be false, but I guess that's to be expected. He's a liar and murderer and for some reason Sayid is working for him. What kind of hold does Ben have over our beloved Iraqi torturer? What happened on the occasion where Sayid thought “with his heart instead of his gun?” (And since when is Ben a vet?!?! I know I wouldn't trust my kitties to that lunatic! Ahem... moving on...)

Last, but certainly not least, I feel that I must address Sawyer’s soft side. I don't know if I'm comfortable seeing this level of sincerity from Sawyer. My Lost reality is based on the inherent bad-assness of Sawyer and his confession to Kate made me very uncomfortable. He wants Kate to stay with him on the island and make a future together! Awww… On the one hand, that's sweet but on the other hand, it's totally out of character. Where are the stinging barbs of wit? Where is the razor sharp logic of self-preservation? I suppose that a man has needs and in order to catch a lady he must express those needs in a way that she would find appealing but to me it was a betrayal. I’m the last person on Earth to ever give “Love Advice,” but since this is TV fiction I feel like I’m just as entitled as the next person. Sawyer: stick with what you’re good at. Sappy statements don’t suit you. It makes you look desperate (not unlike a certain 30-ish single mom in a martini bar) and it’s not a good look for you. If you truly want Kate to stay with you then prove to her that staying with you on the island is infinitely preferable to leaving the island with Jack. I’m not going to judge – but I think you must have already failed since Jack phoned up Kate in the flash-forward at the end of last season and you where nowhere to be found.

Let me just clarify that I did not find the sensitive Sawyer unattractive. However, I must say that I know what to find at the end of that road because I’ve been there. At the end of that road lies Kate knowing that she can bully Sawyer into whatever she wants. Ultimately, that means that Kate will never respect him. I’m certainly not an expert in the field of love but I do know this: Love means respect. Maybe that’s what the title of this episode was really alluding to. Economics is a science that has been proven over and over again that there is always equilibrium! In this case, you must find the amount of love that equals respect. The amount of trust that equals truth. The amount of truth that equals reality! OMG, I’m so turned on by this show.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Favorite Quote from Survivor: Fans v/s Faves Ep. 2

I think we'll be receiving birth announcements from Amanda and her little "Ozzlets" she's about to have...

This one goes to Cirie and her quote about Amanda and Ozzy's "Ozzlets." I love Cirie. I loved her from Survivor: Exile Island. I love how she is afraid of leaves. I love that she had never been camping in her life. I love that she is "normal" sized and could never be considered a physical challenge threat. Most of all, I love that despite all of that - she went on to become one of the final four in Survivor: Exile Island based on the strength of her personality ALONE! She's freaking awesome.

(Aside: I read that she lost 30 pounds before coming back for Survivor Fans v/s Faves. Talk about commitment! Most people only attempt that kind of weight loss for their wedding! Way to go Cirie! I'm rooting for you!)

Joel, I'm not rooting for you. You're an ass. That's right, an ass. Your reasoning for targeting Mary may have seemed like good strategy in your head - but in reality it just proved that you're a jealous brat with a bruised ego. Seriously!! Why did you want to change up the plan and plot a vote for Mary? Why!?!? I'll tell you why - because Mickey B. thought up the plan and you didn't. That's why. Sounds like a case of sour grapes to me. You not only want to be known as the "largest" Survivor player, but the smartest as well? I've got news for you buddy. Those two titles are mutually exclusive. You can be one, but not the other. That fact was proved with your asinine decision to split up a budding relationship between your intellectual superior and his would-be partner instead of voting off the strategically obvious target. On the one hand, I despise you. On the other, I still despise you.

Wow! I channeled some serious angst there didn't I? :)

On the whole, this episode of Survivor gave us exactly what we want: a stimulating challenge (reward AND immunity!) as well as titillating social interaction. I was very entertained and look forward to bitching about future Joel antics. Yay! Someone to root AGAINST (not unlike the Presidential race)!! Cirie and Kathy's excursion to Exile Island was amusing. Amanda and Ozzy's make-out session was kind of gross. I mean, really. Am I the only one who doesn't like watching other people make-out? Eww! Love is natural and all that crap - I just don't want to see it. Especially when I'm a bitter old maid and Valentine's was two days ago. Capiche!?!

There you have it: my opinion on this week's show. I'd include more information on what actually went down, but there are already so many websites that can recap an episode better than I ever could. My desire is to merely express my opinion on this week's episode - enjoy!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Muffin the Thug

Last night, in Taekwondo, Muffin was asked to kick a certain foam cylinder the Master was holding between his hands. She ran up, grabbed it with both hands and proceeded to kick it within an inch of its life while screaming at the top of her lungs! I was a little taken aback, but apparently this type of behavior is relatively commonplace around there. All I could think was "My daughter has a future in thuggary!" But the Master said that she did really well so maybe she'll confine her aggressive outbursts to the do-jahng (That’s "do-jo" to those of us who don’t understand why Taekwondo has to be different from Karate).

The incredibly sweet thing is that she turns around and beams a huge smile at me when she's done beating the crap out of something. She's really quite proud of her achievements, as well she should be. I'm just glad she's on my side.

She's up for testing next month and is pretty much guaranteed an orange belt. When I was asked by a lady who works for the do-jahng (we’ll call her Jane) if she had been registered for the test I told her that I didn't think Muffin was ready. Jane insisted that they are always ready and it's pretty much just a test to see if they follow directions. So, I drank the kool-aid and said "ok, where do I sign."

Turns out there is a $50 testing fee! Wow! Imagine that! Also, it turns out that the contract I signed with the do-jahng requires that I take a certain number of tests. Hmmm, really? I don't think that part was clearly explained - but it's my fault for not reading the fine print, right? Additionally, to drive home the idea that one is supposed to read contracts before signing them, I was a witness a certain interaction between Jane and a customer who wanted out of the contract.

He was trying to explain that his ship was going on deployment, that he wouldn't be able to come to class, and could he please cancel his membership. Jane explained sweetly that he would be required to keep paying for his membership during the six months and when he returned he could have six months for free. He was understandably bewildered and asked "What if I don't want to take Taekwondo when I get back?" The lady smiled apologetically and said that it was all written out in the contract and that he was obliged to pay for six months.

(Can I just say - I don't envy her job AT ALL! Who likes to be the person that enforces contractual requirements? Not me!!)

This went on for about five minutes. In the end, he asked to speak to the next highest level person and was taken away. They probably killed him with super secret moves and threw his body to the pigs, but at least now I understand why the Master was impressed by Muffin's thug skills! They are training an elite team of Tiny Enforcers to beat the crap out of people that don't adhere to their contractual requirements! Hey - at least my daughter has a future!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

In honor of tonight's show... another quiz.

Which Lost character am I?

Why, John Locke of course! I'm a man, baby! Apparently, I might be bald as well.

**edit** Stacie (and who knows - maybe someone else!) would like to find out which character she is - so here's the link to the quiz! Have fun!

My TV Boyfriend (according to someone else)

Buddy TV has a TV boyfriend quiz in honor of Valentine's Day. My boyfriend is Peter Petelli from Heros. I'm cool with that - he's pretty hot! And he has all sorts of interesting powers - which could make for a very entertaining Valentine's night. ;)

Happy Commercialized Love Holiday!

Tootsie Farklepants at Vintage Thirty is spreading the love!

Even though I hate this holiday with all the bile and vitriol I can muster (because, yes - I'm a bitter, bitter old maid) I'm going to lighten up and spread some love too. So, to quote Tootsie "If you're reading this, go ahead and take one for yourself and post it on your blog!"

Hope your Valentines is full of love and all that other romantic stuff!



Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mid-week schlump

We had an awesome weekend. We went to Taekwondo, ran errands, took a long walk to a local park, went to church, went shopping and because she had been such a good girl all weekend we watch a Little Einsteins movie.

(BTW, I love those Little Einsteins. Music, art and a little adventure equal quality entertainment in my eyes. I think Muffin has a crush on Leo because she talks about how she loves his red eyebrows. ?? Well, it's good to know that eyebrows can be found attractive because we both are cursed with monster brows. Moving on...)

Well, despite the great weekend she started off to another rough week. Misbehaving at school, not taking a nap, disturbing the other kids while they were trying to take a nap, yelling at the teacher, etc... I asked her about the behavior and she indicated that her little half-sister had been behaving that way. So, I phoned Muffin's Dad and he, typically, sounded bewildered and confused. He said that it was true his other kids were a little rambunctious, but that he was working on it. Whatever.

Finally, today I took her to her pediatrician, Dr. Beatty. Dr. Beatty has known Muffin since she was 8 months old. She agreed that Muffin may be imitating some bad behavior from her "other" home but in her opinion Muffin is really angry about something. Muffin is acting out for some unknown reason and needs to go to Muffin counseling to figure out what is going on in that little head.

That's right, Muffin Counseling. I pretty much knew she'd end up in therapy, but I was betting it would happen around age 13 or so. Well, by the time her teenage years roll around she'll be an expert! :)

So, that's where we're at. Remarkably, after I brought her back to school she had a great day. I think it might have had something to do with the little "deal" we struck in the car concerning her tea-set. The tea-set that sings a little song. The tea-set she loves very much. Let's just say, the tea-set was in danger of getting put away if she kicked another little boy in the shin. When I came to pick her up this afternoon I got big thumbs up signs from her teachers. A miracle had indeed occurred!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My Life In Pictures

Tootsie over at Vintage 30 posted a meme that I thought was pretty neat. You're supposed answer the questions below using only pictures found online (only the first page of results). Here's my results...

1. The age you will be on your next birthday. 34, bleh.

2. A place you’d like to visit. Debentropy and I are actually planning a trip here!

3. Your favorite place. Happiest time in my life.

4. Your favorite object. DVR - without it I'd be a very sad person.

5. Your favorite food. BEANS!

6. Your favorite animal. Kitty cats!

7. Your favorite color. Ironically my favorite flower is the iris too.

8. The city in which you were born. Midwestern town, USA

9. The town in which you live. If you recognize this statue, you know where I live.

10. The name of your pet. Apparently my pet is a locomotive.

11. The first name of your first love. Dorky name, cute guy.

12. Your nickname/screen name. How funny - I thought for sure there would be zero hits. Sadly I'm not much of a cowgirl.

13. Your middle name. Hellz yeah.

14. Your last name. Hah - figure that one out!

15. A bad habit of yours. Bad, evil empty calories!

16. Your first job. And, no - I didn't look a thing like that either.

17. Your dream job. Cool picture! Add a glass of wine and a computer and it's heaven.

18. Your current job. It's like they took a photo of my first year in the service!

19. A picture you find hilarious. LOLCAT!

20. A picture that inspires you. Audrey Hepburn, always a classy lady.

Saturday, February 9, 2008


On the way home from Taekwondo and other errands Saturday morning, I suddenly found myself in an amusing conversation with my four-year-old daughter.

It started off innocently enough - we were talking about the 50 states and she asked me to name them all. I'm sure I failed miserably - but, whatever, it was a learning experience. I happened to mention that she had been born in Washington State and that when she was a baby we drove all the way across the country! Then, I mentioned that when I was pregnant with her I drove from Grandmama's house all the way to Washington State. So really, she'd been all over the country.

Then she asked what pregnant was. So, I sort of generalized and said it was when she was in my belly. Then she said that one day, she'd get back in my belly. Of course I said, "Uh, no you won't." Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

Muffin: But, doesn't your belly have a door on it?

Me: No. No, it does not.

Muffin: Well. That's strange, isn't it? It's big enough for me to get back inside of it.

Me: No, not really. (But thanks for that blow to my self esteem.)

Muffin: When I'm a grown up maybe I'll have a big belly.

Me: Um, sure. If that's what you want.

Muffin: And when I'm a grown up - I'm going to have great big Mipples!

Me: What? What did you say? What?!?! Mipples?


Did I mention that I'm driving the car? So, I'm flying down London Bridge Blvd and trying to peer into the back seat to see what she's talking about. What do I see? My Muffin. In a car seat. With her tiny hands cupping the air over her tiny chest and a huge grin on her face.

Of course! Mipples - the four-year-old version of breasts. That image will stay with me forever.

I probably should have been horrified but I have to admit I was tickled. At least she's got goals!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Favorite Quote from Survivor: Fans v/s Faves Episode 1

"I don't want Eliza turning around and trying to, you
know, snake me."

Parvati, Parvati, Parvati... Although I was surprised to see that she understood the first rule of Survivor (Thou Shalt Snake Thy Neighbor), it was the head action she performed with this quote that made me giggle. She had this prissy little head shake that instantly conveyed distaste with a dash of snobbery. It was quite amusing. She's already latched herself to James in what I like to call the "Attach yourself to the biggest guy in camp" strategy. Of course, we really can't fault her since it's all she really knows how to do.

Speaking of Eliza, I have to say - that chick is tough! The tumble she took during the challenge made me gasp with empathetic pain. Throughout the challenge she was looking dazed and shaken too. It must have been a doozy of a wipeout. Over at EW Dalton Ross indicates that the challenge wasn't even shown in its entirety! Apparently there was a whole other section of hell to navigate that cart through. Also, J.P. scolded the Faves for trying to sabotage the Fans cart. Awesome! Too bad they didn't show that part. :(

(Is anyone else missing Survivor Live? I know I am. Now I have to find other ways to waste time at work... Never fear though, Mr. Ross will be co-hosting another Internet show featuring the cast-off of the week. It's called Survivor Talk and it's over at I'm sure it will be every bit as campy. Yay!)

Overall I was pretty impressed the Fans showing at the challenge. They were really motivated to kick their favorite Survivor's butts. At camp, the Fans seem to be you typical assortment of loonies. To quote Mikey B:

"Our tribe, it consists of: Big Bird, we've got a Southern Princess, the Incredible Hulk, we've got Jon Bon Jovi in his prime, and then we've got Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. This is going to be a crew, lemme tell ya."

I kind of like Mikey B. He's cute-ish and seems witty. Also, he appears to have that uncanny ability to give people appropriate nicknames on sight. (Not unlike a certain other TV heart throb of mine.) Still, we'll see how it pans out. I like to back the strategists and I'm not seeing a clear front-runner in the Fan camp. I hope somebody steps up to the plate.

Even though the episode ended with a whimper, I was still entertained. The wipeout, the love connections, the sheer bat-shit craziness of Kathleen... All good stuff. Next week should prove to be entertaining in a voyeur-ish sort of way if what the promos are showing us is true. Ozzy and Amanda getting nasty in the jungle! (Did you see his jaw action when he was kissing her? I swear it was completely unhinged!) Guess we'll have to wait to see those other talents of Mr. Lusth.

Favorite Quote from Lost 4.2 "Confirmed Dead"

"I don't know, Miles. How stupid are you?"

I have never really been a Jack fan, but this episode may change my mind. He was actually pretty clever. Maybe I've just been dazzled by the hunkiness of Sawyer, but I don't recall much of a funny bone in Dr. Surgeon. Hmmm, I can't wait to see what new revelations will unfold.

Any way you slice it - last night's episode of Lost was excellent. New characters, new plot twists, a little ass kicking, a little intrigue. All the ingredients for a simmering pot of Lost stew. Mmmm... (maybe I should eat some dinner before finishing this post?)

I've read some interesting theories around the net today. Doc Jensen at EW says that the four new characters are parallel to the Fantastic Four. I like it! The writers are known for throwing in some crazy references to give fans a clue. Over at Buddy TV they have a dedicated crew of Easter Egg hunters that are willing to slave over interpretations for the rest of us slackers. This week the clues aren't very enlightening, but I'm not complaining.

For me, the most interesting bit of this episode was the introduction of new characters. We've been closeted with the same crew for three seasons. (That is, if you don't count the unfortunate Nikki and Paolo.) I'm glad to see a little fresh meat. I think Miles is refreshingly prickly; Dan is sweetly scatter brained, Frank Lapidus is scruffy - but sharp and Charlotte - well, she's something but I haven't figured it out yet. I guess she seemed the most ordinary of the bunch, despite having unearthed a polar bear skeleton, in the desert, with a Dharma collar. At this point all I can say about her is "meh."

So, why do they want Ben? I mean besides the obvious fact that he's certifiably insane and not opposed to a little murder. What connection does Charlotte have with the island that made her instantly recognize the Dharma symbol? Will Miles encounter the Jacob Ghost Shack? So many questions! I'm all shivery with anticipation!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Captain Lou Albino

So, I received an email that promised a genuine Sawyer nickname. I'm thinking "Cool!" Turns out, Sawyer wants to call me Captain Lou Albino. That is so NOT cool, Sawyer. I thought we had a connection. I thought we meant something to each other. Shoot - I'd settle for a "sticks" or "freckles" any day! But, Captain Lou Albino? Why!?!? I'm going to run to my little beach hut and cry.

Check it out and see what he has to say about you!

I <3 Thursday Nights!

Previously, I mentioned how happy I was to be seeing my Lost boyfriend Sawyer (*insert swoon*) after an eight month hiatus. Today I get to see my other real-live-crush, Jeff Probst, when Survivor: Fans v/s Favorites begins tonight!

Jeff Probst, aka J.P.
Or, as I like to call him, Jiffy Pop!

Jeff is the host of my all time favorite reality show, arguably the very first reality show, Survivor. From the very beginning, way back in 2000, I've been a huge fan. ("Can you please pass the rat?") I've followed every season - even when I was overseas! Thankfully my fellow Survivor friend, Debentropy, was able to keep me up-to-date on all of the back-stabbing, flip-flopping and off-voting because otherwise I would have surely perished over there. Now, I'm not going to claim that every season was solid TV gold because that's just not true. But, there have been more good seasons than bad and for my money - Survivor is the best test of human nature out there.

Tonight we're coming up on another experimental season, Fans v/s Favorites and I have high hopes for great TV drama. The last time Mr. Burnett decided to deviate from the "16 strangers on an island" path we had Survivor: All-Stars. I think most people will agree that All Stars was kind of a flop. At the time, I was excited to hear that one of my favorite contestants, Rob C. from Survivor: Amazon, was coming back to give it another try. However, it soon became apparent that our favorite devious players wouldn’t stand a chance. The problem with having previously played the game is that EVERYONE on the island (and in their living room) knows your strategy. Poor Rob was toast before he even knew what hit him.

(Aside – another reason I didn’t like that season was the whole Boston Rob and Amber love thing. I thought it was just silly and contrived. But hey – I’m a cynic.)

This season, Mr. Burnett has decided to pit a few of the favorite past Survivor players against some of the show’s most rabid fans. I’ve already posted my prediction on how this will play out on a couple of forums but here it is in a nutshell: I believe that the Fans will vote off the Favorites as soon as they possibly can. The reason? The Favorites have home court advantage! They’ve played the game, and they have also shown their proverbial hand. If they have truly followed the show, then the Fans will already know the style and strategy to expect from these Survivor Favorites. In my opinion, that puts the Favorites at a disadvantage.

Still, this is Survivor and as we have seen many (many, many, MANY!) times in the past – players don’t always do the smart thing. Sometimes players will vote with their heart (who cares which person deserves to win?) Sometimes players will make un-wise alliances (do you really think that Dreamz will hold up his side of the bargain, Yau Man?) Let’s face it; the unpredictability of this game is what makes it so entertaining. As usual, I’m looking forward to seeing it all play out. And this time I have my DVR to let me savor every episode over and over! *sigh*

Yay for Thursdays! Me, Jeff and Sawyer - the perfect combination. Now, where’s that bottle of chardonnay…

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Venting and praying

So, I'm staying home today with a sick little Muffin. She came back from her dad's utterly exhausted with a raging cough, snotty nose, tangled hair and clothes that smell like smoke. Big surprise. Not only that, but he was over an hour late for the Muffin swap. Again. As I mentioned before, I'm not really sure if he's trying to show me some kind of disrespect or if he's just completely incompetent. I'm not even going to dwell on the behavior problems associated with her visits to his house because frankly, I don't feel like crying at 8:30 in the morning.

Needless to say, we're home today because Muffin needs to catch up on her rest and hopefully regain her sanity. I also have hopes that she will recover from this cold a little bit so she can sleep better at night. Maybe sleeping better at night will lead to better behavior at school and at home. One can only hope.

I really don't know how to address these problems with "himself." We don't have the best relationship, especially not after his wife "inappropriately disciplined" our daughter last summer. I'm trying to take the high road and be the better adult for Muffin's sake since it looks like we're stuck with him. It's just frustrating to present him with a tidy, healthy, well-behaved little girl and get a dirty, sick little monster back.

Ha ha - here's a funny one: He wants me to change her last name to his last name. Why? Because according to him "In America, the child has the father's last name." OK, well in the America I grew up in, the father actually provided for his child. But the fact remains that we were never married and there is no way on God's Green Earth I'll ever consent to changing her name.

I know, I'm sounding a little bitter this morning. I am very aware that our situation could be a lot worse and I'm very grateful. God help me find some way to confront him about the situation without turning it into an all out feud. God help me get through this day and God, please help Muffin get well. Amen.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Organizing the Shed Of Doom!

Wow. Ok, today I actually accomplished an organizing goal. I re-arranged my storage shed! It may not land me in any home decorating magazines (because the shed isn't part of my home) but it is a step in the right direction. Here's why: it gave me some instant "organizing" satisfaction and it also gave me more room to store crap in. YES!!

Here is a picture of the "Shed of Doom" before I decided to organized it:

Shed of Doom!!

Man, I hated going to that place. I had taken the lazy man approach of storage by just throwing new stuff in on top of old stuff. Therefore, I had no idea what was in there or even if I wanted it anymore! (Case and point - I found a pair of lovely black underpants in a piece of luggage.) So, I emptied it all out, moved the furniture bits to the back and proceeded to fill it back up.

The Blank Slate

Oh, and by the way - here is the load of crap that was in that shed. Amazingly enough - its not really that bad. It was basically sorted into two piles: "seasonal" and "Muffin-related." The seasonal stuff is naturally going to rotate. The Muffin-related stuff either needs to be re-incorporated into the household (*shudder*) or taken to the local consignment store ($$MONEY$$) Hmmm... Which direction do you think I'll take? :)


Do you know that it only took a grand total of 45 minutes to empty, sort, scientifically re-organize and replace the items in that shed? That's not long at all! The space I gained in the end made it more than worthwhile. Also, I felt sort of relaxed. Kind of - at peace. It was really quite gratifying. Here's the end product:

A Blank (?) Slate!

Ok, sure - it's not pretty. I mean, damn, the shed started off with no wall-treatment what-so-ever... Still, at least now I know where everything is.
Here's how it's laid out: at the very back is the furniture. It's going nowhere for the time being so it can stay in the deepest depths of the shed.
On the left are the "seasonal" items that will come and go according to the time of year.
On the right are all of Muffin's accessories. Some are toys that will be re-incorporated into the house. However, most are toys that will be taken to the consignment store when the time is right. Additionally, I now have an inventory of the baby toys/furniture/games/items that I have available for consignment. That way I can periodically check with my favorite store and see what they need! I feel so accomplished!! Yay me!

I'm not kidding when I said that a sense of peace enveloped me as soon as I finished. In fact, it was quite intoxicating. I was almost moved to come home and organize something else - but then I remembered it was Super Bowl Sunday and I still had a Managerial Economics test to take. Needless to say, I got over the brief feeling of ecstasy.
The good news is that I remember that feeling and I am encouraged to organize other areas of my life. Wish me luck!!

Muffin Swap and Guilt Suppression

On Thursday Muffin's dad decided he wanted to see her this weekend. Having decided that I'd rather try and form an animosity-free relationship with him, I agreed to let her go. I don't have a problem with her going to her dad's house - I just have a problem with getting the request a day before. Especially when it involves over three hours of driving, round trip, and that's not including the wait time because Muffin's Daddy is always ALWAYS late.

Well, the Muffin swap was par for the course. He was over an hour late and I ended up having to drive further than the agreed upon meeting point to meet him. All this because I don't want Muffin to have to be up any later than necessary due to his incompetence. Hmmm, bitter much? Well yeah - I am. I think that being late (over and hour) is one of the most basic ways to show disrespect. And I'm not sure if that's his point or if he's just completely incompetent. Could go either way.

At any rate, this left me at loose ends this weekend. (I'm not a Super Bowl fan so that's not on the agenda.) I asked a couple of girl friends from work if they would like to hang out and we ended up seeing 27 Dresses and going to dinner. It was great. The movie, the dinner (Ruth's Chris Steak House!) the time away from home. I enjoyed myself. And then I felt guilty. Shouldn't I be pining for my daughter? Shouldn't I take this time to do some cleaning and/or organizing while Muffin is not around to distract me?

But, thankfully, I got over it. I’m sure I’ll always feel some guilt for having a good time while my DD is away, but I’m determined not to let it get out of hand. It’s alright to take advantage of a weekend to myself to actually enjoy myself. Right? It must be. It’s definitely in Muffin’s best interest for her mom to be happy and well adjusted. Yes, yes I think I’m convincing myself that I shouldn’t feel guilt.

Well, on that note – I think I will actually do some type of cleaning or organizing today. Maybe I’ll get over to the storage shed and make room for more crap. If I’m going to put this house on the market in a year I have got to cut down on the crap.

Happy Sunday and I hope whoever you’re rooting for in the Super Bowl wins!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Webkin (over and over and over...)

My little Muffin is in pre-school and she absolutely loves it. She loves her friends, she really loves the RED TRICYCLE and she especially loves "Show and Tell." Because she's all about the showing and the telling.

aside – (What a little talker - she will completely make shit up just to be talking. What's even cuter are the little hand gestures that go along with her fascinating explanations. I'm sure I'm not the only Mommie in love with this.)

So anyway… "Show and Tell" is on Fridays and last week her little friend brought in a Webkin. Perhaps I've been living in a cave for the past couple of years, but I honestly had no idea what a Webkin was and to be honest - I'm still not really sure. I think it may be a stuffed animal that has some connection with the internet - hence the name "Webkin." but I haven't bothered to do any research because the chances of my four year old having a toy that has anything to do with the internet at this point are slim to nill. (The Internet is MINE - ALL MINE!!)

is a Webkin.

Well, Muffin is a joiner. She wants to pretend to have a Webkin like her little buddy. This Thursday, after school, she was avidly discussing her choices for "Show and Tell" and decided to bring a little bear that my sister had given her. (This bear is really kind of neat - Sissy had a boyfriend that made it for her out of an antique mink stole.

We had a little conversation that basically involved her trying to convince me that the bear was a Webkin and me trying to tell her that it was not actually a Webkin. I told her that it was ok to pretend that it was a Webkin but she had to realize that it wasn't really a Webkin and that her identity should not be defined by who had Webkins and who didn’t and by the way – it’s ok to be different. I think I only succeeded in confusing us both. In the end she decided that the bear's name was Sophie and if he wanted to be a Webkin, then he could be.

Meet Sophie. Decidedly NOT a Webkin. At all.

Of course, all of her dolls and stuffed animals are named Sophie so that was no surprise… I was just concerned that she would try and pass off this obviously-not-a-Webkin stuffed animal as a Webkin and that her friends would laugh at her. Naturally, these types of concerns have not even occurred to her yet but they are still plenty fresh in my mind. I'd like to save her from that spirit-crushing experience of "you don't own a brand name" that is inflicted by nasty little kids. Is that so wrong?

You’ll be grateful to hear (read?) that she ultimately decided to choose Doodle the Cat for her “Show and Tell” item today. This stuffed kitty is the only animal in her menagerie that has it’s own name (not Sophie!) Go Doodle!! I’m not sure why it’s so special – but I’ll go ahead and file for a grant to research it. Who knows, it could be groundbreaking.

Well, suffice it to say - after this blog, I'm never going to type "Webkin" again. Damn that word was prolific - wasn't it? Have fun out there!